The Torture of Silence
by LightBender
Summary: It's what you can't say that hurts the most.
1. Carousel

_**The Torture of Silence**_

**Disclaimer: **Own nothing do I.

**AN: **Hey…LightBender here. This is my second AU story and my third SasuHina story. Once again, this will be a romance story on the very slow side. I'm not very good at rushing headlong into things…sorry. R&R if so inclined.

**Summary:** Sasuke Uchiha is the head of Chidori, a wing in a psychiatric hospital called Konoha. He treats anorexics, addicts, cutters, and insomniacs among others. He's always been able to talk people through their problems. He's excellent at his job, but no one knows the deep hurt that he holds inside. Everything's going fine until there is a new addition to Chidori: Hinata Hyuga. She won't talk. It's then that Sasuke realizes how loud the silence is. And how much pain it can cause.

* * *

**Carousel **by Linkin Park

_She can't hide no matter how hard she tries, _

_Her secret disguise behind her lies._

_And at night she cries away her pride._

_With eyes shut tight, staring at her insides._

_All her friends know why she can't sleep at night. _

_All her family asking if she's all right. _

_All she wants to do is get rid of this hell._

_But all she's got to do is stop kidding herself._

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha leaned back in his leather chair, not finding the energy to look over the files that he knew he should look at. He was just too damn tired. With one hand, he loosened the noose-like tie around his neck. Closing his eyes, he tried to relax.

Seconds later, someone knocked on the door. Sighing heavily, Sasuke said, "Come in."

A young woman with dyed pink hair and green eyes came in. Her nurse's jacket was unbuttoned to reveal a low cut red shirt and an extremely short miniskirt. Four inch red pumps adorned her feet. She smiled broadly when she saw Sasuke, her eyes tracing over the graceful lines of his body.

"What is it, Sakura?"

"Oh!" Sakura jumped slightly, his voice breaking into her reverie. "I have to give you the final update of the day, remember?"

"Hn."

"Um…Ino lost another half pound. She's down to sixty nine now…we might need to start thinking about force feeding. On the other hand, Choji gained another pound. Anko's going to intensify the training regime. Temari and Gaara have been exceptionally quiet today. Shikamaru only took one nap today…his hypersomnia's improving slightly. We had to drug Shino, Lee, and Naruto today…they got extremely out of hand. That's why you didn't see them today. Tenten's on lock down again. She was caught cutting again. She found some tinfoil."

Sakura looked up expectantly at Sasuke. His head was tilted back, eyes closed. After a moment, she said, "That's all."

"Good…I want to see Shino, Lee, and Naruto the second they wake up. Separately. Inform Ino that if she doesn't start gaining weight, she will be force fed by catheter. Get Gai to help with Choji's training. I also want to see Temari and Gaara as soon as possible. Maybe tonight?" It was less of a request and more of an order; his voice was strong and commanding.

Sakura glanced down at her clipboard, which held an extremely detailed calendar. "No…you can't talk to them tonight. We have a new patient. She should be arriving in a few minutes actually."

Sasuke sighed. "All right. I'll see Temari and Gaara tomorrow morning. I'll need extra time with Tenten tomorrow. When Shikamaru's able to consistently get through a day without a nap, then slowly start to cut down on his medicine. Have Kiba bring in his dog again—everyone seems to like that." Sasuke would not admit it under torture, but he had a bit of soft spot for his patients' happiness.

There was a long pause. Sakura finally tore her eyes away from him and jotted down his instructions. She involuntarily took a step closer.

"Sasu-kun?" Sakura asked, lapsing into the informal.

"Yes?"

She cringed at his tone, so unfeeling and hard. "N-Nothing."

"What do you know about the new girl?"

Sakura looked down at the papers, grateful to do something. "Well…she's Neji's cousin, so there will be some confidentiality issues there. She's only eighteen, had her birthday a little over a month ago. Wonderful birthday present, right?" Sakura blushed and then rushed on. "Neji's not sure what exactly is wrong with her. Supposed suicide attempts or something like that." She let out a weak chuckle. "So…we're supposed to figure out what's wrong and how to fix it. It sounds like severe depression to me."

"Great. Just great."

Sakura racked her mind for something comforting to say, anything. But, nothing sounded right. Quietly, she turned and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her. She spared the young man a long look over her shoulder. He didn't notice. He never noticed.

Sasuke brought his closed fist down upon the table. Helping people had never been his strong part. Fixing people wasn't any easier. Hell, he hadn't even been able to fix himself. He still nursed a deep wound in his chest. But, he did not dwell. It was all in the past. It was done with.

He'd never actually wanted to become a psychiatrist. Sasuke had always thought that he would inherit the family business. But, those dreams had ended on that fateful night. He was brilliant and had finished high school at sixteen. College and medical school were completed by age twenty two, three years of internship. Now at age twenty five, he was the very successful psychiatrist at Haven Hidden Among the Leaves, or Konoha for short. He ran the wing for young adults ages eighteen to twenty seven. A woman, Tsunade, owned the place and oversaw his every move. But, Sasuke was basically in charge of his wing, dubbed Chidori. It was joked that this wing was known for its lightning fast offensive to all problems presented to them. Sasuke had named the wing and he had never revealed why he had named it as he had.

A few miles away, a black SUV drove steadily through the falling snow to Konoha. Hiashi was driving, Neji sitting in the passenger's seat. The radio was turned on, but it did not stop the two sitting in the backseat from hearing the conversation taking place. One of the two didn't seem to be paying any attention.

"Hiashi-sama, I assure you, Chidori will get her back together."

"I hold no faith in psychiatrists and their methods. They just prescribe medicine for everything and anything."

"Not Uchiha. He's very firm about limiting the medicines that go into the patients."

"But he gives them medicine."

"Yes, Uncle. But, sometimes it is necessary."

There was a long pause. Finally, Hiashi asked in an undertone that was still heard. "Will it be necessary for her?"

"I don't know. I've told you, her symptoms aren't consistent with anything I've seen before." Neji's voice was patient and calm, going through his reasoning for what had to be the hundredth time.

"Then why do you think this will help?" Hiashi's voice was angry, to hide the nerves hidden beneath the surface.

"We don't have much choice, do we? You want to help her. This is the best place for her to get the help she needs."

Hanabi looked to her right, at the girl in question. Hinata was looking out the window, watching the snowflakes tumble gracefully to the ground, sticking to the window. Her lavender eyes were devoid of all emotion, dark hair falling into them. Hanabi didn't know what her sister was thinking. Placed against the odd brightness of the outside world, Hanabi could see how pale her sister was, how much weight she had lost. If Hanabi had been shown a picture of this girl, she might not have recognized her.

The last month had been a blur. Phone calls during the day from school, saying Hinata had fainted, that Hinata was falling behind, that Hinata did not look well. The meeting with the guidance counselor, the woman listing everything that none of them had wanted to know. Hinata had barely passed senior year, she had been accepted by only two minor colleges. There was also a murmur of trouble at home, that Hinata had been seen putting make up on her arms on several different occasions, that her friends had said that they hadn't seen her eating.

She'd fainted at that meeting. When the nurse had said that her pulse had fallen too low, they'd rushed her to the hospital, where Hinata had remained for three days. During that time, Hiashi and Neji had gone through Hinata's room and found her diary. Upon the creamy pages in her small looping script, they found horrors detailed there. Pages of her pain, her confusion, her sadness. Words describing her finding comfort in the knife at times. The sentences of her suicide attempts. Neji and Hiashi had confronted her when she returned, Hanabi listening from outside the study door. Hinata had sat there silent the whole time. It was then that she completely stopped talking. She had never talked much, but now, she just refused to speak. Not a single syllable escaped her lips.

The car pulled up to an ornate building despite its bleakness. Hiashi parked the car, removed the keys, but didn't immediately open the door. He glanced back at his eldest, her lavender eyes seeing something that he couldn't see outside the window. Anger and disgust filled him at Hinata. She was so like her mother.

"Onee-chan, w-we're here," Hanabi said, hearing the tremor in her voice. In the back of her head, she thought about what a sick joke this was. Hinata had always taken care of her. Hanabi had always been the one in need of protection, of being led. Now, the roles were switched. Hanabi felt the need to protect her now frail sister.

Hinata looked up, startled, at Hanabi, making Hanabi wish she hadn't said anything. Her sister's gaze was so unnerving these days. Hanabi got out of the car and walked to the other side to help Hinata out. She was so frail now. All the while, Hanabi looked up at the grey, foreboding building that looked more like a jail than a place that would help. Or, as the name suggested, a haven. Hanabi reached out for her sister's hand, but Hinata pulled away. Tears came to Hanabi's eyes, but she wouldn't let them fall. This Uchiha character had better be able to help. If he hurt Onee-chan, she would hurt him.

Neji picked up Hinata's suitcase, noticing how light it was. It was expected, though. When he had gone into her room, he hadn't seen anything too personal lying around. That instantly got his psychiatric sense ticking. The diary that they had found, that had scared him. He realized that he didn't even know his cousin. If he had paid even a little attention, he might have seen the warning signs. He was a psychiatrist damn it! He knew all the signs of depression, of cutting, of anorexia, of suicide and he'd still missed it. Now he'd have to show Uchiha that he'd failed to even diagnose his cousin, who he lived with.

Hinata wrapped her arms around her torso, shivering slightly. She wished that she had remembered to bring a heavier jacket; all she had was a light sweater. She followed her father into the large building, trying not to think. She didn't want to think about what was going to happen in a few months, let alone a few minutes. She didn't want to be going here. She was perfectly fine.

Neji led them through the building. Hinata trailed after them, not noticing Hanabi's and her father's and Neji's worried glances over their shoulders at her. All three of the Hyuga eyes mirrored the same distress, but Neji's had a taste of smoldering anger at himself and her father's held disgust. They arrived in a small office, where Neji said something to the pink haired woman sitting on the desk, reading a report. She nodded and he knocked on the doorframe. Without waiting for an answer, the door was flung open by Neji.

Hinata lingered in the doorway for a few seconds, allowing her small family to enter the office and sit down. She wondered if she could just run away and never come back. The pink haired woman was looking at the papers. She wouldn't notice. Hinata was very quiet.

A voice broke through her frenzied thoughts. "Please come in."

The voice was deep and masculine, slightly hardened. But, there was a touch of softness in it. And that's why she went into the room. She wanted to see, to know, who that voice belonged to. Carefully, Hinata lifted her eyes. She was met by a pair of black and red eyes that entranced her. The eyes belonged to an extremely handsome young man. He had a pale face, distinct features that were framed by spiky black hair. He gave the barest flicker of a smile and said, "Welcome to Chidori. My name is Sasuke Uchiha. What is yours?"

Hinata dropped her eyes from his, his gaze much too intense. Instead of answering, she took the empty seat between her father and sister, right in front of the desk. Neji stood to the left of her father, a mask of calm reserve on his face. The room was dead silent.

After she could not stand the awkwardness anymore, Hanabi spoke. "My sister's name is—"

"I'm sorry, but I believe I asked your sister," Sasuke Uchiha said patiently. He locked his fingers together on the desk.

"She doesn't speak anymore," Hanabi explained, feeling tears come to her eyes again. Swallowing heavily, she said, "She just stopped talking. Her name's Hinata."

Sasuke Uchiha didn't say anything for a moment, thinking hard about approaching the situation. He had to try and get a preliminary hypothesis upon the first meeting, so he knew what treatment Hinata would need. "Would you three mind leaving the room for a minute?"

Stiffly, Neji moved the door, his father following in the same fashion. Hanabi moved after a few moments after giving Uchiha a hard look. The door clicked shut.

Sasuke studied the girl, more of a young woman though. She was very fair skinned and very thin. Was anorexia possible in this case? That could lead to some of the symptoms. Her hair was long and dark, falling all the way to her waist with long bangs falling into a pair of the most unique eyes he had ever seen. Like her family's, they were the strange purple color. Hers were much richer in pale lavender than any in her family. She sat straight in the chair, but her neck was bent so that she was studying the ground.

"Hinata," he said aloud, trying out the name. He noticed how she looked up at him for a brief moment. So, she was listening. Might as well continue. "Hinata. That's an interesting name. What does it mean?"

She said nothing. "So, why are you here?"

Hinata didn't move an inch. Her eyes showed no recognition and her hands lay limp in her lap. "Usually if people come here, that means that they have a problem that needs fixing. Do you have one?" She wanted to scream. To tell him no. She as just upset. She looked up for a moment and then dropped her gaze before he could trap her with those oddly colored eyes.

Instead of talking, she studied his tie. It was a deep, dark blue. A navy blue. Navy blue like the sea at night, when it looked so beautifully perfect. Dark blue as the night sky. Dark blue as the—Hinata stopped her thoughts from going down that way.

"Your cousin said that you tried to kill yourself. Is that correct?" He didn't wait for an answer. "He also said that you might be cutting. There was a mention of maybe not eating properly. Is that correct? Because if it is, it sounds to me like you might have a problem. But, to every problem there is a solution. Isn't there?"

Hinata still didn't respond. Inside she was screaming at this man that he had no clue about her. That he was an idiot. She would never let him into her mind, like he wanted.

Almost as if he could read her mind, Sasuke said, shaking his head, "You can't keep me out forever."

He saw her eyes widen slightly. Sasuke would not admit it, but this was beginning to frustrate him. He had never encountered a patient who wouldn't talk before. Without further ado, he called back in the others. Warily, they all looked to Hinata. She was still unresponsive. Without wasting time with the explanations, Sasuke began to talk.

"Hinata's here because she needs help. We, at Chidori, will work to get her the help that she needs. I won't lie to you, Hinata. It won't be easy. Ask any of my other patients and they will tell you that it's hard. But, it's necessary. I will try not to push you farther than you can be, but you're going to have to start talking."

Sasuke saw Hinata's gaze harden ever so slightly. "If you don't say anything, how will anyone know if something's wrong? Mr. Hyuga, Neji, and Hanabi, you will have to be willing to listen to Hinata. How else will she be able to get better? She must have support and understanding." Sasuke placed his hands on his desk. "This is not going to be an easy few weeks. That's all for the moment."

Before Hinata was aware, her sister was hugging her goodbye, leaving Hinata alone with Neji and the pink haired woman in the outer office. She couldn't remember what her father had said to her, or what Hanabi had said. It was all blurred together, just like her paintings of the last few months. She didn't want to remember. She wanted her life to go away.

"Sakura, would you mind getting Hinata set up with the rest of the group?" Neji asked. "I've got to go report to Tsunade-sama. You know how she gets."

"Yeah, she can get just unbearable. Sure, I'll do it. Who's she rooming with?" the pink haired woman, Sakura, asked.

"I think…Tenten."

"Tenten's on lock down. Again. Remember?"

"She can still have a roommate." Sakura smiled reluctantly at Neji's answer.

Laughing, she said, "Your head if Tenten gets a weapon."

Neji handed Hinata her suitcase, saying he'd see her tomorrow. He patted her on the head and walked away. Sakura herded Hinata into the hall and lead her down a long hall. It was white and plain. Hinata felt extremely uncomfortable.

"Hi. I'm Sakura, as you've probably guessed. I'm the head doctor here. If you have any medical problems, you'll be sent to me. I'll be giving you a physical exam tomorrow. Um, the basic rule here. First off, listen to what all of us are saying. That should be easy enough. Secondly, if you're not in your room, you need to have an escort. We usually have a few aids running around just for that. If I'm not with someone, I can escort you around. Thirdly, you have to go to your individual therapy sessions and group. No choice in that, sorry. You also have to go to all meals, but that's a given. We have enough anorexics running around." Sakura studied Hinata out of the corner of her eye. The girl was very thin, but she wasn't very tall. Still, she could have anorexia.

"Here we are!" Sakura said cheerfully, entering a large room. It was fairly large, with lightly green walls. There were two couches and several chairs scattered around. There were bookshelves aplenty, most with books, some with board games on them. A television sat in one corner, playing some random show with a laugh track. There were nine people in the room, all of them now staring at the pair that had just entered the room.

"Kakashi! Why are Naruto, Shino, and Lee in here?" Sakura cried across the room, her thoughts no longer on Hinata.

The white haired man who had half of his face covered smiled and said, "They woke up and I saw no harm in letting them in here with the rest of us." He turned to go back to his book, but did a double take. "Hang on…who do we have here?"

"Hinata, this is Kakashi. He's Chidori's school teacher, to keep your mind sharp. Kakashi, this is Hinata. She's new. Can I trust you to help make her welcome? I've got to go talk to Tenten about having a roommate." Without waiting for an answer, Sakura tugged the suitcase roughly out of Hinata's hands and left the room.

Hinata lifted her eyes from the ground and came face to face with a young woman. Well, more of face to shoulder; the young woman was much taller. She had sandy hair fixed in four buns and fiery cerulean eyes. She had her weight all on her right leg, the right hand on her hip. Despite herself, Hinata's eyes widened and she took a step back. This woman exuded confidence.

"Hey, I'm Temari no Sabaku. You look lost." She, Temari, turned to Kakashi and said, "I'll take care of the introductions so that you can get back to your dirty little book."

Kakashi laughed and said, "Thank you, Temari darling." He returned rather quickly to his small book.

"All right. So, your name is Hinata?" Hinata nodded almost imperceptibly. "Welcome to Chidori, Hinata. Isn't it a lovely place?" There was no hint of sarcasm in her voice as she smiled kindly.

There was a murmuring of 'of course.' Temari laughed. "Well, I'm Temari as I told you before and I'm an extreme drug abuser. This is Ino," she pointed to a painfully thin girl with long blonde hair. "She's anorexic."

"Hi," Ino said, smiling at Hinata. Hinata just stared at the dark blue carpet. Very much like a certain young man's tie…she shook her head slightly. Taking a deep breath, Hinata focused on Temari's words.

"This useless lump of carpet is Shikamaru," Temari playfully kicked at the kid with hair like a pineapple. He groaned and looked up at her with one eye. "Troublesome woman…do you always have to do that?" Hinata saw the coy look the two exchanged and realized that they were "in love."

"Yes." Temari looked to Hinata. "Shikamaru has hypersomnia, which means he sleeps a lot, and he's a bit of a pyromaniac, but he's got an I.Q. over 200, so don't try to beat him at chess." Temari stepped over Shikamaru and Hinata followed. Temari pointed to an extremely overweight boy. "That's Choji; he'll eat anything that isn't nailed down. The boy sitting next to him is Shino; he OCD's about every little thing and he's not quite in touch with reality." As Temari said that, Hinata watched the sunglasses wearing boy's hands twitch. "The blonde thing wearing orange is Naruto; he's got multiple personality disorder. The guy wearing green spandex is Lee and he's just bipolar."

"Shut up, you bitch! You defile the name of youthfulness!" Lee frowned at Temari, but almost immediately turned back to Hinata with a big smile on his face. "Hi! I'm the youthful Lee!"

Temari sat down on one of the couches, Hinata sitting next to her hesitantly. "That boy, with the red hair, he's my little brother Gaara. He's got a ton of problems: schizophrenia, insomnia, cutter, the works. All because our father was abusive. I'm glad he's dead. Our other brother, Kankuro, is the psychologist here. You'll meet him soon. That's everyone, isn't it?" Hinata noticed how quickly Temari dismissed the concept of her father. How strange.

"No, you forgot Tenten," her little brother reminded her, giving Hinata a small smile. It sent shivers down her spine. He looked like he was just itching to put his hands around her neck.

"Oh yeah…Tenten's a cutter. She's in her room right now because she started cutting again. Stupid move…they'll find out if you cut. They have their ways!"

Kakashi glanced up. "How do you know about our ways? I thought they were secret!"

Temari smiled. "My brain isn't completely wasted, Kakashi." She turned back to Hinata. "So, don't try it. 'Course, you don't look like the cutter type." Temari looked at Hinata. "No…I don't know what type you look like."

"Why are you here?" Ino asked, putting down here fashion magazine with a slightly shaking hand.

All the others in the room turned to look at Hinata, leaning in closer. Even Kakashi looked like he was listening, despite the fact that his eyes were fixed on his book. Hinata felt her face heat up. Slowly, she shook her head. Tears welled up in her eyes. She didn't want to be here with all these people who had so many problems. She had no problem! Why was she even here? She wanted to leave and get out.

Unexpectedly, she felt an arm around her shoulders. She turned to look at Temari. Temari's face was hard, but there was a softness in her eyes and tone. "It's not all right now, but it will be soon. I promise."

* * *

**AN: **That's the first chapter. Expect irregular updates until school lets out in June. But, I will try to update as soon as possible. I thank thee for taking the time to read this here fanfic. I would be ever so grateful if you would tell me what you think. I will try to keep all the treatments and the illnesses as correct as possible, so feel free to critique me as needed. Review if so inclined.


	2. Over It

_**Torture of Silence**_

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**AN: **Sorry for taking so long to update. I've had stuff going on. I lost inspiration. I forgot how to write. I lost my drive. Don't worry, I'm back with a vengeance. Without further ado, R&R please.

* * *

**Over It** by Anneliese Van Der Pol

"How could you know

That behind my eyes a sad girl cried

And how could you know

That I hurt so much inside

And how could you know

That I'm not the average girl

I'm carrying the weight of the world"

* * *

"Tenten?" Sakura knocked on the doorframe, the door wide open. Hinata stood shyly next to the pink haired woman. "Come meet your roommate."

Tenten came out of the shadows of the room. She looked about Nii-san's age, Hinata thought. She had brown hair in a pair of buns and large brown eyes. Her bare arms were crossed over her chest, but Hinata saw a few, faint scars, pale white against her peachy skin.

"Who's this?" The way Tenten spoke reminded Hinata of a teenage boy. Almost.

"This is Hinata," Sakura explained. "She's Neji's cousin."

"What's wrong with her?"

The question made Hinata feel very uncomfortable. The way everyone in this place just threw that question around. _What's wrong with her?_ Maybe nothing was wrong with her. Maybe it was everyone else who was wrong.

Sakura sighed the sigh of people who think they've got better things to do then answer such 'simple' questions. "We're not quite sure. We're thinking depression."

Sakura loved the way 'we're' just slipped off her tongue. _We_. Her and Sasuke. _We_. Sasuke and her. "She doesn't speak. I've got to go. Dinner's in half an hour. If you're on good behavior tonight, we'll reevaluate your punishment."

"I'll be good." Sarcasm was heavy in her voice.

"Of course you will be." Sakura met Tenten's sarcasm and left.

Tenten retreated back into the room. Glancing over her shoulder, she said, "You can come in. I won't hurt you. They confiscated all my weapons, anyways."

Hinata entered the darkened room, her eyes on the floor. Cautiously, she glanced around the room. It was a plain room, with wood floors and pale blue walls. There were two beds on either side of window, which was situation on the far side of the room. There was a dresser near the foot of each bed. Hinata sat down on the bed with her suitcase. Tenten was sprawled across the other bed.

"So, your name is Hinata?"

Hinata barely nodded.

"Oh yeah, you don't speak. Why's that?"

Hinata picked at the bedspread. It was a deep blue, not dark enough to be called navy, but not light enough to be straight blue. In her mind, she tried to come up with the right proportion of white and blue and black.

"Neji's your cousin. He's pretty nice." Tenten's tone was softer and gentler. More like a girl confessing something. Hinata realized with a jolt that this girl must like her cousin.

"Anyways, you've probably already heard the worst about me. Yep, I'm a cutter. Big deal. It's just how I cope…." Tenten trailed off, lost in her own thoughts.

Hinata watched the clock numbers change slowly. The green numbering burned into her eyes, following her even as she blinked. The numbers made no impression on her mind. Hinata wasn't seeing them together as a whole, but separate pieces. Everything was safer when it was broken up.

Tenten glanced at the clock, situated on a little table between their beds. "Come on. Time for dinner."

Hinata followed Tenten out the door and down the hall. Tenten was talking, but Hinata wasn't listening. Or rather, she couldn't listen. There were words, but they flew by her ears, not lasting long enough to leave an impression. It was like watching a television program in a foreign language.

Dazed, Hinata mimicked Tenten's actions, picking up a tray as they stood in line. The room was set up very much like a high school cafeteria, from the trays to the long, rectangular tables. Only difference was that the floors and walls were completely white, no designs to mar the blank perfection.

"Are you all right?"

Startled, Hinata looked up at the speaker. It was the painfully thin girl from earlier. She was placing a nearly empty tray next to Hinata. Dazed, Hinata nodded.

"You know that Sakura's not going to be happy with that intake," Tenten said, opening her container of milk.

"Well, Sakura wasn't happy with your cutting. She won't notice what I'm eating while she's trying to make sure you don't kill yourself," Ino retorted.

To Hinata's surprise, Tenten smiled. "Maybe I'll help you out. How much damage can I cause with a plastic fork?"

"What's this I hear about a plastic fork?" Temari asked, setting down her tray next to Tenten. Her brother, the murderous one, slumped in his seat next to her.

"Nothing," Tenten said, a look of feigned innocence on her face.

Temari rolled her eyes. "As I've said before, my brain is not—"

"_Completely wasted_," finished Shikamaru, Choji, and Lee. Naruto and Shino followed behind them.

"Is that everyone?" Ino asked, standing up. She appeared to be counting heads. "Yes, this is all of Chidori."

Choji asked, between bites of food, "Where's Sakura?"

"Sakura is right here," the woman in question said, appearing at the table. "Ino, you need to eat more than that."

Ino glared at Sakura before grabbing her tray and slinking back to the line. By the time she had returned, Sakura had walked around the table, interrogating them all. Except for Hinata.

The meal passed quickly, but not quick enough for Hinata. A second seemed to drag on. Hinata didn't remember any of the walk back. All she remembered was collapsing onto the bed. She remembered hoping that she would not dream tonight, but knowing that the nightmares would come.

And they would be worse.

-

There was a sharp rap at the door. Sasuke slowly opened his eyes and lifted his face from the open book. He had fallen asleep, trying to figure out what was wrong with that new girl. Sasuke glanced at his watch as he stretched. 10:16. There was something he had to do. But what?

There was another knock on the door. He was supposed to be talking to Tsunade! He had completely forgotten. He jumped up and flung open the door. There stood the director of the mental hospital.

"Gomen nasai, Lady Tsunade-sama. I was caught up—"

"Sleeping?" Tsunade didn't seem upset. She seemed amused. "You need your rest."

Sasuke nodded and took his seat behind the desk. Tsunade took the center seat. A seat, which Sasuke noted, had been occupied by the new girl only a few hours ago. She had been scared out of her mind, but a dangerous air had existed around her. A hardened shell. He didn't know what she had done, what had happened, what she could do, or what had caused it. He didn't even know how to categorize that girl. She had everything going for her, it seemed. According to what Neji had told him, she had been a good student. She had thought of going to an artistic college. She had been a nurturing sister. Her beauty was striking. Her eyes were so unique and different. But, so hurt.

"Sasuke, did you hear a word of what I just said?"

"Hn."

"I was just saying that your wing has been doing well. Your decisions are very well thought out. One thing, though, I think you should add in another session of group therapy. You've got the morning session, which I think is excellent. But, I think a session in the evening, with you there, would be beneficial. What do you think? Will you do it?"

"Hn."

"I'll take that as a 'yes.' All right, that's just about everything. One thing, though….It doesn't concern your wing. I just thought I'd share this with you."

Sasuke was silent.

Tsunade flipped through some papers. "A prisoner is getting moved here. He's on trial to see if he….if he's going to be killed by lethal injection. His attorney's trying to use insanity to get him off. He'll still have to serve for life with no parole. We're evaluating him. Seeing if this is a real claim."

Sasuke felt frozen. He tried to say something, but he couldn't. She couldn't know. Could she?

Tsunade watched him, seeing him tense up. Maybe she shouldn't tell him. But, it would be worse if their paths crossed unexpectedly. "This is the man who seventeen years ago murdered his parents and all of his relations. Except for one. He left his little brother in a burning house, his little brother who was only seven. The little brother survived. His name is Sasuke Uchiha. You."

"How did you…." Sasuke's voice was barely above a whisper.

"It wasn't easy. They shielded your name from the newspapers, as they kept your parents' names from the newspaper." Should she tell him that his brother had told her? That Itachi was so obsessed with his little brother. Itachi wanted to explain his actions, supposedly. Tsunade knew that Itachi wanted nothing more than to wrap his hands around Sasuke's neck.

Sasuke didn't know how to react. Tsunade wasn't sure of what to say next. Luckily, both were saved by scream. Sasuke ran from the room, expecting the worse. Tsunade was on his heels, her papers abandoned on the floor. The lights were all turned on, strange because almost all the lights were turned off promptly at 9:30.

"What's going on here?" Sasuke asked, his voice carrying over the din. All of the patients were in the hallway, as were several of the doctors and aides. "Who screamed?"

"I did," said Tenten, blushing only very slightly.

"What's going on?" Tsunade asked, finally catching up. "Sakura?"

"I'm not entirely sure myself," the pink haired doctor answered. "I was walking down the hallway, checking on everyone. And when I got to Tenten and Hinata's room, someone screamed. I guess it was Tenten. I turned on the lights and Hinata ran out of the room. Tenten was sitting in bed screaming. Then, everyone came running out of their rooms to gather here. That's when you showed up."

Sasuke mulled this over for a split second before turning to Tenten. "Why were you screaming?"

Tenten shrugged. "I don't know." She glanced over at Hinata. "I had a nightmare, I guess."

"You guess? What are you? Schizophrenic?" Naruto asked, smiling in an eerie way.

"Shut up, Naruto," Tenten said.

"Why should I? You're the one who woke us all up with your big mouth," Naruto retorted, placing his hands on his hips in a very feminine fashion.

Sasuke held up his hands. "That's enough. Hinata, I don't suppose you have anything to add to Tenten's story?"

Everyone was silent. Hinata kept her eyes to the floor and didn't move.

Mentally, Sasuke sighed. "All right. Everyone, go back to bed. Tenten, do you want to talk about your nightmare?"

"No. Sorry everyone."

The group dispersed. Tsunade placed a hand on his shoulder and told him to go home and get some rest. She'd watch Chidori overnight. Sasuke didn't argue. It was when he looked up from thanking Tsunade that he saw something that drove even the prospect of his brother coming to Konoha from his mind.

Hinata, looking at him with those large, beautiful, broken eyes.

-

Once Tenten was sure that no one was in the hall, she whispered, "Hinata, what happened? Did you have a nightmare?"

Tenten had heard Hinata hitting the wall and thought it had been a burglar. More precisely, she had thought it was her father, who had molested her and then killed her mother once he was convicted. Killed her in the court room, in front of Tenten, who had been only eleven at the time. She heard someone stand up and the shadow fell over her. Just like his used to. She screamed.

Now, Tenten had pieced together what had really happened. Hinata had been having a nightmare and must have been thrashing in her sleep, resulting in her hitting the wall. She must have woken up, frightened, and stood up. Still unused to the room, Hinata must have taken a few steps too many, having her stand over her (Tenten's) bed. Tenten had taken all the blame, because she pitied the silent girl.

"Knock once for yes. Twice for no—" Tenten heard one tap. "You feeling all right? Well, better anyways." One tap. "It gets better." Another tap. "It's safe here."

Two taps.

-

Hinata sat in front of Sasuke, avoiding his eyes. There was something too scary about looking someone in the eyes. It was as if they could see into her head, see her thoughts. She preferred people looking through her.

She'd gone to a group therapy that morning. It was there that she had met the psychologist of Chidori, a man named Kankuro who had purple designs on his face. Nii-san had also been there.

She had learned that Lee really was bipolar, despite his bad imitation of it when she first met him. Part of his problem was he projected his emotions by over exaggerating his disorder. Or something of that effect. Ino had been in six hospitals before coming to Chidori. Temari had gotten arrested and they had put her here. Shikamaru was thought to be untreatable. Chidori was his last chance. Tenten had tried kill herself, but had been found. Gaara had also been arrested, much like his sister, and they put him here to be with his sister. For Choji, this all had been chance. Naruto had been in several mental institutes before this.

Chidori, it seemed, was a place for misfits and last chances.

Hinata knew she wasn't a misfit, so she assumed that this was her last chance. She wondered what had happened to all of her other chances. Had she wasted them living out her life? Had she wasted her chances painting? Had they been wasted not crying for her mother's death? Had they been wasted as she stood in the dark woods surrounding home, wondering what had gone wrong?

What had gone wrong?

"Hinata," Sasuke said, eyes watching her. "How are you today?"

Unsurprisingly, Hinata did not respond. He saw her trying to disappear.

Hinata was expecting him to start talking. She did not expect to feel his hand under her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. Sasuke wasn't rough; no, he was gentler than any man she had ever known. She realized that she had not heard him stand up or move.

Looking him in the eyes frightened her as much as it put her at ease. But, that only scared her more. She jerked her head down. Sasuke leaned against his desk, hands in his pockets. His face was downcast, Hinata saw when she chanced a glance.

After what might have been five seconds or twenty minutes, Sasuke spoke. His voice was so quiet and so gentle.

"You're in pain. You're hurt. You're afraid to let someone know what happened to you, because you think it's your fault. Well, it's not your fault. You know that, but you're lying to yourself to stop the hurt.

"You're crying on the inside, aren't you? You're afraid to let out what you're feeling because then it would be too real. Dealing with your feelings is too painful. You'd rather just lock it up and pretend that you don't hurt.

"The hurt's getting too much, so you try to harm yourself. It eases the pain a bit. You're so confused. Everything's happening too fast for you to concentrate. Numbness is setting in quickly. You're dissociating all the time, but you're trying to pretend that everything's fine.

"You can't let anyone know what's going on, because if they knew, they wouldn't love you anymore. They wouldn't care about you. They'd leave you. You're afraid to be alone, even though you're already alone. You don't want that confirmation. So, you keep playing the game, hoping it will get better but knowing it won't."

Hinata's eyes were wide by the end of his speech. How could he know? How could he know?!

Her reaction let Sasuke know that he was right in suspicions. A traumatic event triggered depression, insecurity, and fear which in turn triggered the self-injury which triggered the eating disorder. All of that combined was a textbook syndrome.

Only thing he didn't understand was the lack of speech. How could he help her if she wouldn't tell him anything?

How could she get better if she wouldn't say it all out loud and confront it?

Was the truth that painful?

I can't say anything, Hinata thought. That's against the rules. Don't say a thing and you won't hurt.

* * *

**AN:** Well, I think it's a fairly good chapter. I got in what I needed to, but I don't like the ending. It bugs me. I couldn't hit the right chord, but I ended it all the same. Anyways, the song might not be your favorite, but the lyrics work the best. Sorry about that. Review if so inclined.


	3. Dark Blue

_**The Torture of Silence**_

**AN:** Hey, sorry for not updating. I got caught up in a ton of other stuff. But, the important thing is I'm back to writing. Well, my editor's forcing me to update, but it's the same. Hope you enjoy the next installment of ToS.

* * *

"**Dark Blue"** by Jack's Mannequin

_This night's a perfect shade of _

_Dark blue (dark blue)_

_Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you_

_I said the world could be burning (burning) down_

_Dark blue (dark blue)_

_Have you ever been alone in a crowded room well I'm here with you_

_I said the world could be burning dark blue

* * *

_

"Okay, Hinata," Sakura said, slightly distracted. She pushed open a door. "Art therapy time."

Hinata stumbled into the room. The glass door closed behind her.

Sakura had been giving Hinata a physical that morning. She's missed morning group therapy and had missed part of art therapy it sounded like. All Sakura had said after the physical was that she seemed fairly healthy. Was that what had distracted Sakura?

"Hinata! We thought you were skipping!" called out Kakashi cheerfully. He was sitting at a large round table with the rest of the wing.

There was a chorus of 'hello' as Hinata took the empty seat between Tenten and Lee. Kakashi smiled broadly as he placed huge sheets of paper in front of each of them. He also plunked down paper cups full of paint. Hinata waited for the brushes.

"Today, we're finger painting!" Kakashi seemed absurdly happy with this.

Temari snorted. "We're not five years old."

"Really? Because you don't look a year over four," Shikamaru retorted.

"You're a lazy good for nothing!"

"All right, that's _enough_," Kakashi said forcefully. "Yes, we are finger painting, because it releases you from the strict confines of a brush. It also lets you get in touch with your inner child, since most of you haven't really been children."

Hinata had to admit, the logic did make sense. Dazed, she watched as they all grabbed paint and started. She usually took time, considering exactly what she was going to paint. Everything was planned. The color combinations were mixed before she started, to allow her to paint without stopping.

There was a soft touch on her shoulder. Hinata jumped and stared up at Kakashi. "I know you used to paint a lot, but here, it's just about emotional expression. It's supposed to be a release, not orderly and controlled. Just, paint what you feel, even if it's scribbles."

He smiled at her. Hinata nodded and surveyed the paint.

"Lee, can I please have the red?" Tenten asked, surprisingly cheerful.

"I'm using the red."

"I need the red."

"I'm using it, Tenten."

"No, you're not. You're using the blue." Tenten's voice hardened slightly.

"I'm using them both."

"Lee! I need the red!"

"SO DO I!"

"I need it more!"

"I need it more!"

Silently, Kakashi poured some more red into a cup and placed that in front of Tenten. She didn't notice.

"You don't! Lee, you're also using the blue! I can only use red!"

Shikamaru grimaced. "I guess now is not the time to say I need the red."

Temari shrugged. "I don't think so. Pass the yellow."

The yelling match between Tenten and Lee had reached levels that could not be ignored. Kakashi finally intervened, but Hinata couldn't concentrate on the words. Somehow, amongst the arguing, two cups of paint had been placed in front of her. Blue and black. Without really thinking about it, Hinata scooped out some of each and mixed them on the corner of her paper. It needed more black. Then, just a dash more of blue. Then, a touch of white. Then, blue. Then, black.

She dipped her fingers into the navy blue and started painting.

--

Sasuke slipped into the room. Kakashi was the only one who had noticed him. The patients were all too absorbed in their work.

"I miss anything?" Sasuke asked, rubbing his temples.

"No…you really don't look well. Maybe you should go home--"

"I'm fine."

"Sasuke, I've known you long enough to know when you're fine. You're obviously not fine right now. In fact, you're the opposite of fine."

"I'm a psychiatrist. I don't need you psychoanalyzing me."

Kakashi gave him a long look. "Maybe you do."

Sasuke crossed his arms, leaned against the wall. Everything about his position screamed relaxed, but Kakashi knew that Sasuke could easily attack him. Kakashi had been Sasuke's godfather and martial arts teacher. He knew Sasuke well. Kakashi still didn't know everything, though. And that's perhaps why he had switched from martial arts teacher to art therapist (he had had a _varied_ college experience). He knew Sasuke could fight, but he felt that Sasuke might still need some protection. It's impossible to physically fight things that only exist in the mind.

Kakashi broke off the staring contest. "Lee and Tenten had an argument over paint. Nothing else really happened. Naruto seems more normal, as does Shino. Shikamaru actually carried on a conversation with Temari."

"Improvements."

Kakashi gave Sasuke an apprasing look. "Yeah, improvements."

_What is it that you're hiding, Sasuke?_

--

Kakashi clapped his hands. "Okay, who wants to come up first?"

Blank stares. "What do you mean?"

"What I mean, Temari, is who wants to come up and show off their painting first. Any volunteers?"

Shino walked up to the front and held up a picture. Grey flies were scattered over the paper.

"Interesting. What does this mean to you?" Sasuke asked. He was still leaning against the wall.

"They're the bugs that are crawling beneath my skin," Shino answered matter of factly.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "We've discussed this, Shino. There are no bugs beneath your skin."

Shino shrugged and placed his picture on the desk at the front of the room. He sat back down. Ino bounded up, wincing slightly with each step.

"Here's my picture!"

It was in shades of pink and white. Flowers, hearts, and the profile of man who looked a tad like--"

"Is that Sasuke in the corner?" Kakashi asked, his eyes mischievous.

Ino blushed and shook her head. "N-No. It's just a guy."

She placed the paper over Shino's and winced back to her seat. Gaara slumped up to the front. His paper was blank except for a one inch black dot precisely in the middle. Silence.

"Gaara, what does this mean?" Sasuke asked, holding back a laugh. His voice was so controlled that only Kakashi knew he had almost started laughing.

"It signifies the evil and anger inside of me."

"A black dot?" Temari asked. Her voice sounded worried.

"Yes."

Tenten smiled at Hinata as she walked up. "Here's my awesome picture."

"Red?" Sasuke asked.

"Well, yeah. Red's for blood and roses and cuts and…" Tenten faltered. "Anger?"

She looked troubled as she placed her paper face down on top of the pile. Lee skipped up and held up a mess of blue and red.

Smiling, he answered the unasked question. "The blue and red are for me. I'm blue and red inside. Blue's the sadness and the red's the anger."

"You're learning." Sasuke stated. Lee put his thumb up and winked.

Shikamaru had created a rather realistic interpretation of fire. Temari had depicted a pineapple, which had caused Kakashi to comment.

"Looks a bit like Shikamaru's head."

"Hinata, how about you go?" Sasuke asked. Actually, it was less of a question and more of a statement. Not quite a command, but something that she had to do.

Hinata looked at the ground, her hair shielding her from the others. There was dead silence. No one said anything.

For a minute, Sasuke couldn't find his breath. He had seen that before. He had seen the picture somewhere before. But where?

A pair of eyes on a white background. The irises were dark blue, navy blue, but almost black.

Hinata dropped the paper onto the growing pile and sat down, pulling her legs up to her chest.

Naruto bounded up to the front of the room and held up a chaotic mix of colors.

"THIS IS MY PICTURE!"

"There's no need to yell," Kakashi said calmly.

"Sorry…"

Choji had painted a bunch of large, purple grapes.

"These are the grapes you eat on the beach, after swimming. They get the salt taste out of your mouth. Mom used to always bring them so when I got out from boogie boarding with Dad we could get that rid of that horrible salty taste. We'd laugh about it and then we'd go to the boardwalk and…"

Looking very sad, Choji sat back down.

"Um…Nice work today!" Kakashi said, after waiting for Sasuke to speak. He had become mute after seeing Hinata's picture, his brow furrowed. "You've all improved so much!"

Awkward silence. He glanced up at the clock. "Oh, look at the time! It's lunchtime. Line up, everyone."

Kakashi shot a glance to Sasuke before leading the patients to the lunchroom. "I'll meet you in your office, Sasuke."

"Oooo…you two going to be getting it on?" Temari said jokingly.

Kakashi rolled his eyes.

--

Kakashi sat down in one of the many chairs in Sasuke's office. Sasuke was staring out the window.

"What happened?"

Sasuke didn't answer.

"Sasuke. What happened?"

Sasuke turned around and stared at Kakashi as if seeing him for the first time.

Kakashi snapped his fingers. "Hello? Sasuke? You there?"

Just then, Sakura poked her pink head into the room. "Sasuke? I have Hinata's medical records…do you want them now or…"

"I'll take them."

Sakura strode into the room, wearing yet another revealing outfit. When she caught Kakashi looking at her, she glared at him and buttoned up her lab coat. She left the room, being sure to bump into Kakashi chair on the way out.

"Sasuke…"

Sasuke appeared engrossed in the medical history.

"Maybe you should see-"

"I told you, I'm fine."

Kakashi grimaced. "Then why'd you go silent after Hinata's picture?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"What did you see?"

--

"So, Hinata," Tenten asked between bites of Shepherd's pie. "What's with the eyes?"

Hinata stared blankly at the table.

--

_Dark. No light. Dark. _

_Eerie candle light or dying streetlights. Face in shadows. _

_Pain. Pain._

_Navy blue eyes._

--

"So, whenever my parents got extra mad, they'd lock me up in a cupboard," Naruto said.

They were in the therapy room. Sasuke was running late. Neji and Kiba were there, as was Sakura, to whom Naruto was talking to.

"It was a little cramped in the cupboard, but it was all right. Until the rats came."

"Those poor rats…" Sakura said, looking horror-stricken.

"He was raised by nuns," Sasuke said as he walked in, looking over a clipboard. "A group of very nice and patient nuns."

Sakura looked like she might punch Naruto, but she angrily stamped out of the room. Sasuke looked up. "All right, everyone circle up."

--

Tenten looked at the clock blearily. 12:28. She switched on the lamp and looked over at Hinata. She'd been whimpering in her sleep, which had woken Tenten up. Now, Hinata hit the wall with her arm.

Tenten gently shook Hinata. "Wake up. You're dreaming, Hina."

Hinata shot up, looking very scared. Tenten placed a careful arm around Hinata's shoulders. Some of the patients in here were particular about being touched.

"It's a little after midnight. Everything's all right. You're in Chidori."

Hinata didn't really hear the word, Tenten knew, but she kept talking. Hinata seemed to be responding to her voice though and was visibly relaxing.

"You had a nightmare. Everything's going to be all right."

Sasuke stood outside the ajar door listening.

* * *

**AN: **I know it's not as long as the other chapters. Sorry. My editor and I are going to be going to a treatment center in India so we can do all the henna we want and actually find out what treatment centers are like! (That's a joke…) I've got the next chapter planned out, so I'll hopefully write it in a week or so. Thanks for reading! Review if so inclined.


	4. Meds

_**Torture of Silence**_

**Disclaimer:** Forgot this last chapter, but I still don't own anything.

**AN:** I lost the story info my editor and I wrote up and couldn't think how exactly to start. But, here's your chapter. Thanks for sticking with it.

* * *

**Meds** by Placebo featuring Alison Mosshart

_I was confused by the powers that be,_

_Forgetting names and faces,_

_Passersby, were looking at me,_

_As if they could erase it._

_Baby...did you forget to take your meds?_

_Baby...did you forget to take your meds?

* * *

_"Yes, I know," Tsunade said. "But I still don't—I don't care what the lawyer says—I don't think it's such a good—"

She sighed. "Yes. We'll do it. But—"

There was a resounding click. Tsunade stared dully at the phone. So, the prison hadn't listened to a word she had said. Tsunade wasn't used to people not listening to what she said. She was a strong, influential woman. She had worked long and hard to get where she had and she would not let anyone undermine her efforts.

It just infuriated her that these ignorant people would not listen to her.

She looked at the medicine bottle on her desk. She stared at it for a long time, willing herself to calm down.

--

Sasuke was looking out the window of his office. In the summer, the view was beautiful. There was a park near Konoha and the patients were allowed out there. There was a little winding creek that shone a brilliant green-blue in the heat of summer. Some tried to fish. Most just waded, laughing and acting like they weren't in a mental hospital.

But, Sasuke did not see those things. Outside it was winter. The world was covered in piles of white flakes. The creek was coated with ice. Silent. Dead silent. It was always winter for Sasuke.

The door opened. He turned around. Neji was ushering his cousin into the office. Hinata sat down quickly, in the center seat. Neji silently asked Sasuke if he could stay. Sasuke shook his head imperceptibly. Not yet. Unfazed, Neji exited the office. Sasuke knew Neji wanted to be there, wanted to help Hinata. She wasn't ready yet. Both of them knew that. But, Neji would keep asking, because that was his role in the little play. Sasuke's role was still undecided as of the moment.

Sasuke sat down in his chair. He clasped his hands in front of his face, in a familiar pose (1). He didn't speak, he merely studied her. The silent was so thick it could have been cut with a knife.

Hinata fidgeted. She tugged on the cuffs of her sweatshirt, shifted her legs, pushed her hair behind her ears, crossed her ankles, pushed her hair forward so it was covering her face, and brought her legs to her chest. She sighed, the sound very loud in the quiet room.

There was a method to Sasuke's madness, as some had called it. He had to have her talking in order to diagnose her. Once she was diagnosed, he could treat her. Once she was treated, she could return to the outside. She could have a normal life, maybe needing to see a therapist and take some pills. But, most would take in exchange for a happy life; a life that wasn't lived behind the bars that the illnesses had created. Sasuke knew she'd get married. The man she would marry would be nice and kind and protective. That's why she would stay with him: he would make her feel safe. They would have a few children, probably three: two boys and a girl. She'd be a good mother. No one would ever think that she had a mental illness.

That's how Sasuke thought it would be anyways. It wasn't a romantic notion. He knew that, from everything he had heard about her to everything he had seen about her. And that's why he knew her problems stemmed from an incident with a man. It's what fit. You don't argue with a puzzle when the piece fits.

"Do you like winter?"

She didn't respond for a moment. Then, just barely, she shook her head.

Sasuke controlled his features. That was a big improvement. She had responded directly to a question. He had a feeling this session was going to go in a different direction that the others had gone. He had to do this delicately.

"No….it's an odd season isn't it? Freezing cold and snowing. Winter's like death….isn't it?"

She nodded. This was good.

"Spring is much nicer. It's when everything's becoming _alive_ again. Coming back from the dead. Being reborn. Everything's new."

She nodded again. Sasuke steeled himself. This next part was going to be difficult for both of them.

"My parents died in winter." (2)

He saw her eyes widen with concern. Hinata wanted to study his face, but she was too afraid.

"It was really unexpected. They were perfectly healthy. They died from—well, I should tell you a little bit more before I get there."

Sasuke stood up. "I had a brother. He was a few years older than me. He was perfect in everything he did. I…I idolized him." It was still hard to say those words.

"He was a great brother. He helped me with my homework. We used to go wandering through the woods, playing games. He never acted like it was a burden. But, things changed. As we got older, my dad started putting a lot of pressure on him. My brother was supposed to run the family business and I don't think that's what he wanted to do. Gradually, he stopped acting like such a good older brother and became a stranger. I barely knew him."

Sasuke took a deep breath. Hinata's eyes were wide, but still she wouldn't look up.

"I came home from school one day. I was very late. It was very dark. The house was very quiet. I walked into the kitchen."

Sasuke sat down in the chair next to Hinata, turning it so he was directly in front of her. He stared hard at her. She looked up at him, met his black and red eyes. Her eyes were full of concern and fear.

"My parents were dead. Lying on the ground. There was blood everywhere. And my brother was standing there. He murdered them. Itachi killed our parents."

There was a sharp intake of breath. Involuntarily, Hinata placed a hand on his. Before he could say anything, the door flew open. Kankuro, Temari, and Gaara stood there.

"What is it?" Sasuke asked, turning away from Hinata. He stood up, Hinata's hand falling limply to her lap.

"Gaara refuses to take his medicine," Kankuro answered angrily.

"You are my prey!" Gaara snarled. Temari grabbed him to stop him from tackling Kankuro.

Gaara looked quite mad. Hinata shivered and shrank into her chair.

"Gaara, you—" Sasuke started.

Temari cut him off. "I don't think you need to drag Sasuke into this."

"Temari, Gaara's out of control."

Her eyes flashed. "Kankuro, how dare you say that!"

"It's the truth!"

"Don't listen to him, Gaara," Temari said soothingly, stroking Gaara's red hair. Gaara's eyes were still crazed, but he seemed to be mellowing a bit. "You have no idea what Gaara's gone through! You don't know anything!"

"He was my father too, Temari! We _are_ siblings!"

"You sure don't act like it!"

"Temari, Kankuro—" Sasuke interjected. He was promptly ignored.

"What's that supposed to mean, Temari?"

"No _real_ brother would have put his sister and younger brother into an insane asylum!"

"This is a mental hospital! And I did it for your own good—"

"Like hell you did! You did this all for yourself and your guilt for going to some fancy college while Gaara and I stayed at home and got beat up and abused by that as—"

"Temari! They wanted to send you to jail! I kept you out of jail!"

"And put me behind these bars!" She gestured to the walls. "Next time, don't do me any favors!"

"I did this because I actually give a damn about what happens to my family! Unlike you!"

"What are you saying?"

Kankuro's face was red and angry. "I didn't do drugs and sleep with everyone and anyone who came around just to forget about what was waiting for me at home!"

"No, you went to some college and got a stupid degree! You left us!"

"So I could support us! So I could get you and Gaara out of there!"

"Yeah right you little lying bas—"

"What's going on?" Tsunade asked. Kakashi was standing by her shoulder. She glanced around the room. "Sasuke, I would have thought you would have had better control over your patients."

"I was just sorting this out," Sasuke retorted, sounding angrier than he meant to.

It was the wrong thing to say. Tsunade looked exceptionally angry.

"Sasuke Uchiha! Your wing is a mess. You have people running around and screaming. You can hear them all across the building. You've completely lost control of Chidori! It was your idea to have this wing, to separate all the eighteens to twenty somethings from everyone else, to keep them all, who cares what illness they have, let's just lump them all together and hope they don't kill each other! I don't know why I even agreed to it. It's definitely not because of your charm because you don't have any! You're just an angry moody bastard who's got more baggage than all the patients in this hospital combined!"

Kakashi whispered something. Sasuke stared at the floor, hearing all his sins listed out. Feeling the nails get pounded into his flesh deeper.

"You're parents were murdered by your brother, poor you. I've offered you all the help in the world and you just keep turning me down. You keep saying you're fine. Well, you're obviously not because you can't even keep control of your patients and over half of them are drugged! You don't care about this job; you don't care about helping people! You don't care about anything but revenge—"

"_Quiet._" Sasuke's voice was deadly. He looked very close to hurting someone.

Tsunade broke off. She hadn't meant to say all of that. She had just been so angry and….things had gotten out of hand.

"Kankuro, Temari, we will sort out this issue tomorrow. Gaara, you're going to take your medicine. Tsunade, Kakashi, leave."

There was not a word as they exited, a little scared. When Sasuke turned around, he saw that the office was empty. Hinata must have slipped out.

Sasuke punched the wall. There was a big dent. His hand was bleeding. He didn't notice. It had been a long time since he had lost control.

-

Tsunade sighed. "Kakashi, I know—"

"Yes, I know you know that you were out of line. That wasn't what I was going to say."

"Then, what were you going to say?"

Kakashi paused, trying to think of what to say.

-

Hinata was sitting on her bed, holding the cat stuffed animal Tenten had given her. Tenten had a lot of stuffed animals. Apparently, after her father was dead, Tenten had found out that she had a grandmother on her mother's side who wanted to take her in. Her father had essentially "kidnapped" Tenten after his wife's death. Anyways, the grandmother had decided that the best place for Tenten would be in Konoha. So, she made Tenten stuffed animals. A new one showed up every few weeks. Tenten shared the wealth of having someone who gave a damn about you on the outside by spreading around the stuffed animals. (3)

Tenten dashed into the room and tossed herself on her bed. Hinata watched her with large, pale eyes. Tenten flipped onto her back and picked up a teddy bear.

"Hey, I just heard what happened in Sasuke's office today. Apparently, Tsunade has a thing for Temari, but Temari's got a thing for Kakashi, who's with Sasuke, but Sasuke secretly likes Gaara, who likes Temari, and Kankuro realized that he had feelings for Tsunade. So, when Kankuro was pledging his feelings, Temari realized her own feelings for Tsunade, so they got into a fight and Kakashi started making out with Gaara."

Silence.

"I heard you were there."

-

Sasuke stood in front of the fogged up mirror. He had just stepped out of the shower. He wiped the fog off the mirror only enough so he could see his own eyes. He clutched the edge of the sink, still feeling like he was going to break something.

He looked his reflection in the eyes. Black and red eyes. Angry eyes.

For a second, he saw his eyes as if they were navy-black. Like the eyes Hinata had painted. He knew who the eyes belonged to. The eyes were…..

Sasuke wrenched open the cabinet. After staring for a while at different bottles, he took down a bottle and took a few of the pills inside.

* * *

**AN: **Fun chapter!!!! Yeah, I know Tsunade's a little harsh and probably wouldn't have reacted like that, but for the sake of my story, she had to. She's overstressed and not taking her medicine and she's angry. I think we all know whose eyes they are. Sorry if it's a little blunt.

(1) The position he's in, it's when his fingers are entwined and in front of the lower half of his face. It's in the first book when Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto are talking to Kakashi on the steps.

(2) I have no clue what season Sasuke's parents actually died. And, for all I know, he might actually be lying.

(3)I had to put in the back story because I made it up and it was too awesome to not put in.

Thanks for reading! Review if so inclined.


	5. Wake Up

_**Torture of Silence**_

**Disclaimer:** Still don't own anything.

**AN:** This chapter is a birthday present for my best friend, my editor! Thanks for everything you've done! You're the best. Happy birthday.

* * *

**Wake Up** by Three Days Grace

_Wake up I'm pounding on the door  
I'm not the man I was before  
Where the hell are you  
When I need you  
Wake up I'm pounding on the door  
I won't hurt you anymore  
Where the hell are you  
When I need you

* * *

_

"He's really crazy, this one, you know?"

"I heard he killed his family."

"They're trying to get him off on insanity."

"They'll never do it."

"Dude, he killed his family!"

"You have to be pretty sane to contemplate cold blood murder."

The men pulled him to his feet and made sure the straightjacket was on properly. They didn't want him running loose. He smiled. The measures they took were so pitiful. If he wanted to escape, he would have already been free and those four men would have been on the ground. He would be making his way down to that office, sticking to the shadows and moving as softly as the wind. He caught himself. It wouldn't do to be enjoying success before it was done. The deed had to be done first and then he could reminisce. Until then, he had to stay focused. He had to wait.

The men shivered. They felt the strange tension in the air. None of them wanted to be moving this man. He was a dangerous criminal. They knew he was crazy. They also knew they wouldn't feel safe until he was dead. He deserved to be dead. He'd killed his own family! No, no one would be safe until this man was six feet under.

It was Itachi Uchiha after all…

-

Neji ran morning group.

Everyone had arrived and where sitting down. Kiba had been monitoring, half in the room, half out. There was quiet chatter. Five minutes. Ten minutes. Fifteen minutes. Finally, Neji ran into the room, looking slightly harried.

"Hello. I'm going to be running group today, all right?"

There was a confused, affirmative nod. What was going on?

"Let's get started then."

-

Unbeknownst to the patients, the staff of Chidori was freaking out.

"He's not picking up his cell," Kakashi announced, dropping into one of the chairs in Sasuke's office.

Sakura was sitting in Sasuke's chair, playing with his letter opener. "He didn't pick up his house phone either."

"When'd he leave last night?" Kankuro asked.

"At around ten, I think," answered Kiba.

Kakashi sighed. "We can't let Tsunade know, all right?"

"Why's that?" Sakura's eyes flashed. Everyone knew she looked up to Tsunade.

"Because she and Sasuke are having difficulties and he doesn't need any more black marks against his name. Do you understand?"

Sakura nodded, pouting slightly.

"Here's the plan," Kakashi said, standing up. "We're going to go about our day as normal. Don't let the patients know anything's up. They're already vulnerable enough. If they ask, Sasuke's sick. Same goes for Tsunade."

Everyone in the room nodded.

"I'll tell Neji," Kiba said. He left the room. Kankuro followed him. Sakura leaned forward, placing her arms on the desk.

"What happened?"

Kakashi shrugged, avoiding her gaze.

"Don't give me that. I know you where here last night when Tsunade came in. She told me she said some things she shouldn't have. So, what got said?"

"I don't know what you're talking about. Now, please, we have a wing to run."

Kakashi left. Sakura leaned back in Sasuke's chair while biting her lip. Kakashi knew things he wasn't telling her. She wanted to know. She wanted to know everything about Sasuke, but she knew he would never tell her anything. He never gave the slightest inclination that he liked her. She loved him and hurt so much sometimes she could barely stand it. She wanted him to let her in. What she wanted was impossible, but she wouldn't give up. Not while there was still a chance anyways.

Not there really was a chance. She'd been by his side for so long that he didn't even see her anymore. He only saw the broken people who he fixed. She wasn't one of them

-

Sasuke slowly opened his eyes. His face was pressing against cold tiles. He felt horrible. It was as if he'd fought someone ten times bigger than him and they'd absolutely crushed him. Every part of him hurt. He slowly pushed himself up.

He was lying on the floor of the bathroom. He's shirtless. He leans back against the wall and glances around. His head feels stuffed with cotton. He spots the empty bottle on the floor.

His eyes widened as the memories from last night flew back into his drug addled brain. He'd taken a few pills to get to sleep. But he hadn't been able to sleep. He kept seeing his brother's face. He'd gotten up and taken a few more pills. And a few more. He'd downed the whole bottle.

Slowly, Sasuke stood up and looked into the bedroom at the clock. Three pm. Damn. He was very, very late. He moved carefully into his bedroom and pulled on clothes. He made it out of the apartment only by will power and by clutching the wall.

Ten minutes later, he was walking into Chidori. He lucked out; Tsunade was in her office, the door closed firmly. He managed to make it down the hall and into his office only by clutching the wall. As he was closing the door, the world spun out of control. Next thing he knew, he was on the ground.

"Sasuke!"

Sasuke tries to focus, but his eyes refused to. He recognizes that voice. Kakashi.

"I-I'm fine."

"Stop playing the hero. Wait here, I'll get Sakura."

"No!"

Kakashi stopped. There was something about Sasuke's voice that sounded different. Sasuke sounded _vulnerable_. He'd never heard Sasuke sound like that. "I won't get her, but you're going to have explain what happened."

Sasuke sighed. He tilted his head back, studying the ceiling.

"I got home last night and well…I took some pills."

Kakashi sat down next to him. "How many pills?"

"I don't know."

"Why?"

"I…I don't know."

-

Sasuke appeared in late afternoon/evening group. He looked, to quote Temari, "stoned." His brain seemed to be working fine all the same. He made the usual comments and asked questions that encouraged self examination. He just didn't seem to be there.

Tenten was talking about her mother when she abruptly stopped. She looked absolutely angry.

"You really don't care, do you?"

"What?" Sasuke asked.

Tenten shrugged, looking every inch the rebellious teenager. "You're not listening. You don't give a crap about us. This is just a job."

"It's not just a job."

"You're certainly not acting like you care! You're not even listening! You looked stoned. What did you do? Stay up too late drugging yourself because you're a fucking hypocrite?!"

Sasuke looked like he was going to argue, but he didn't. Not quite, anyways. "You feel that I don't care?"

"That's what I said. Those drugs already killing off your brain cells?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Who else feels the same way?"

Tenten's hand shot up into the air. Temari's hand went up. Gaara put up his hand as an afterthought. Choji's face was red as he put his hand up. Shino put up his hand, but it wasn't clear if he really knew why he was raising his hand because there was a bug flying around in the room. Naruto put up his hand with a cry, "Believe it!"

Shikamaru, Ino, and Hinata slowly raised their hands after a minute.

Sasuke didn't say anything. What could he say? His wing didn't believe he cared about them. Tsunade was questioning his judgment. He was saved from saying anything by Kakashi arrival to take group to dinner.

As Hinata stood up to leave, she chanced one last glance at Sasuke. His eyes flickered up to meet hers. She stopped moving, struck by his emotion. He looked…sad. No, that wasn't the right word. It was something beyond sad. He looked not exactly hopeless, but definitely not hopeful. He was beyond hurt. He was scared. He looked heartbroken.

"Hinata, you coming?" Tenten asked, tugging on Hinata's hand.

Hinata nodded and let Tenten lead her out of the room away from him.

"I'm so glad—hey, why are you crying? Are you all right?"

Hinata touched her face, surprised to feel wetness on her cheeks. Tears. She nodded at Tenten as she wiped away her tears. She listened half-heartedly to Tenten's jabbering rant about Sasuke and how disconnected he was and how glad she was that she had finally said something when someone bothered her. Hinata spent most of dinner in a daze, not paying attention really to anything. She didn't snap out of it until they were walking down the hall back to their wing.

Four men dressed in immaculate white were leading someone down the hall. Kakashi and Chidori moved closer to the wall to make more room. The patient that was being led down the hall was wearing a straightjacket. His black hair was unkempt.

Hinata looked up to see the man's face. The breath left her body. Navy blue almost black eyes. The man smiled in a way that put shivers down her spine. No. He couldn't be here. He couldn't be!

"Hinata, are you okay? You look like you just saw a ghost."

-

Kakashi had walked into Sasuke's office and told him to go home. Sasuke hadn't argued. It didn't matter. He had to completely rebuild Chidori's trust of him. How the hell was he going to do that?

He tossed his keys onto the table. He pulled off his shirt and flung it to the ground before he just collapsed on his bed. He was asleep in moments.

_Ring…Ring…Ring…_

Sasuke grabbed the phone without opening his eyes. He glanced at the clock as he said, "Hello?"

It was very, very late. One in the morning.

Silence.

"Hello?"

"S…Sasuke…h-help…"

The voice was whispery and feminine. There was fear in those two words. There was need in those two words. Sasuke knew exactly who it was.

He sat straight up. "Hinata, I'll be right there."

* * *

**AN:** Finally the plot gets revealed! Thanks for reading.


	6. Monster

_**Torture of Silence**_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own a single thing.

**AN:** Sorry about the belated update. Here it is! Two, three more chapters. Not much more.

* * *

**Monster** by Meg & Dia

_That night he caged her  
Bruised and broke her  
He struggled closer  
Then, he stole her  
Violet wrists and then her ankles  
Silent Pain  
Then he slowly saw their nightmares were his dreams

* * *

_

All of Chidori was gathered in the rec room. Shikamaru and Gaara were on the couch with Temari huddled between them. Naruto and Shino were sprawled on the ground, looking up and not saying a word. Ino leaned against the wall, curled into herself. Choji sat next to her, a comforting arm around her. Lee stood by the door, an unmoving sentinel. Kakashi hovered near Lee, peeking down the hall. Sakura and Kiba were by the window. Neji viewed the scene. Tenten was close to him, close enough to touch, close enough to see him breathing.

Hinata was standing next to the phone. Her hand was still resting on it. She hadn't spoken since she made the phone call and struggled out those two words.

Sasuke drove carelessly through the night. A fierce wind had started up. Snow was falling heavily. He could make this drive in his sleep, but he didn't have time for mistakes tonight. He had to get there as quickly as he could, but if he drove to fast, he'd never get there. It was a horrible paradox for him to deal with on that night.

When he burst into the doors of the ward, Kankuro stood there.

"What's going on?" Sasuke asked, realizing just then that he had gone out in a blizzard without a jacket. He brushed off the snow as he rushed down the hall.

"Hinata woke up screaming. She woke the ward. Went to the rec room and just said your name. I put in your number and, well, you know the rest."

"What did she wake up screaming about?" They were almost in the rec room.

Kankuro's eyes were wide. "I don't know."

Sasuke made it two steps into the room before someone flung herself at him, hugging him tightly. After a moment, he wrapped one arm around her and stroked her hair with the other. Quietly, he said to Kakashi, "Put them back to bed. We'll discuss in the morning."

Kakashi nodded and started motioning the patients and doctors out of the room. Meanwhile, Sasuke pressed his face to her hair, whispering, "Shh…Hinata, it's all right. It's okay…no one will hurt you…"

She was shaking with tears. Slowly, the tears stopped.

"Hinata, we need to discuss this. Do you want to go to my office?"

She stepped back, away from him, playing with the edge of her pale lilac nightgown. Faintly, she nodded. Sasuke placed an arm around her shoulders and guided her.

Fifteen minutes later, she was sitting in one chair in front of the desk. Sasuke handed her a cup of tea and pulled one of the chairs in front of his desk so it was in front of her. She sipped the tea, still not speaking.

"Hinata, what happened?"

She didn't answer. Her eyes flicked up to his for a second.

"I can't help you if you don't explain."

Hinata put down the tea and studied her hands in her lap.

"Please."

He lightly held her hands. Tears gathered at the corners of her eyes. And slowly, the words started to flow.

"I…I was raped. B-By a man who my f-father worked with. T-They were business partners."

"When?"

"I-It started eight months ago. He came by for dinner. I-I was cleaning the dishes. M-My father was in his office, Neji here, I don't know w-where Hanabi was. He c-came up behind me and told me that…that I was too pretty for my own good!"

She gripped his hands tightly. "I told him no. I-I said no!"

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

Hinata swallowed. "He said…he said he would kill my sister. He started coming for dinner once, twice a week. I w-was already on bir-birth control. My doctor said it would h-help my cramps. I-I was so powerless. I couldn't do anything!"

"It wasn't your fault." She bit her lip. "Hinata, I'm telling you the truth. It wasn't your fault. What woke you up tonight?"

"I-I had a n-n-nightmare."

"Why tonight and not any other night?"

She glanced away. "You have to answer the question, Hinata."

"H-He's here. I saw him."

Sasuke frowned. "What's his name? And you saw him here?"

She nodded. "He said his name was Hideki Iwao, but I think that w-was a cover."

"What does he look like?"

Scared, confused lavender eyes looked up at him. "Like you."

-

Hinata was still sitting in his office. Sasuke was looking out the dark window. It was a blizzard out there.

Sasuke had gotten up to write down what she had said so far. She hadn't seemed ready to continue yet. The newest revelation had his head spinning. Itachi had raped her? It certainly seemed that way. He'd only been caught by the police recently. He could have…what was he going to do?

He glanced at her and noticed that she was shivering.

"Give me a minute, okay? I'll go get you a blanket."

"Hai."

Sasuke darted outside and grabbed one from the closest, not looking back at the curious staff of Chidori. He'd fill them in, all in good time.

He placed the blanket over her shoulders. Her eyes were grateful. He sat back down.

"Are you ready to continue?"

"Yes."

"So, what happened after he raped you? How long did it go on for?"

"It started in M-May and went on u-until N-November. He disappeared in November." That fit too perfectly with Itachi.

"How did you cope?"

"I just got s-so sad. I t-t-tried to kill myself three times. I-I cut and stopped eating and stopped p-pretending to be happy." Though she stuttered, her voice was determined, as if ready to get it all out. "I couldn't stand it."

"There's something you're not telling me." She was holding back still.

She glanced away, pursed her lips.

"Look, I don't care if you hate me or if you're angry at me or whatever emotions you must be repressing right now. But, do you trust me?"

Slowly, tremulously, as if surprised herself, she said, "Yes, yes I trust you."

Gently, he placed his hands on her shoulders so they were face to face. She had to look at his black and red eyes that she'd become so familiar with in the last two weeks. Those strange eyes that were so unique and different and yet, comforting. All he wanted to do was help. All she had to do was let him.

"Please, tell me, Hinata. I won't leave. I won't hurt you."

She took a deep breath. "I'm pregnant."

He looked confused. "I thought you were on—"

"I didn't g-get a refill."

He glanced down at her stomach. "How many weeks?"

"November 18 is w-when I found out."

"Today's January 20…so you're at least ten weeks. Who knows?"

"M-my sister."

"Not your father or cousin or friends?" She shook her head, looking tearful. She leaned forward and hugged him again. Consoling, he held her and said, "It's all right. It's all going to be okay. Don't worry."

-

"So? What's going on with Hinata?" Temari asked the next morning during breakfast, sliding into a chair next to Tenten.

"What do you expect me to know? I'm not psychic!"

Temari rolled her eyes. "You're her roommate."

"She had a nightmare and woke everyone up. You remember that, right? The meth must have really trashed your brain."

"Unfortunately for you, my brain's still in better condition than yours, cutter. What did she have a nightmare about?"

Tenten shrugged, gulping down her milk. "Something about a guy. Ikwao or Ewo or something like that was his name. I was sort of asleep when she started screaming."

-

Sakura looked back over Hinata's medical records and saw what she had missed. She hadn't been looking for that in her. She hadn't thought that Hinata could get pregnant.

Sasuke had clued them all in, including Tsunade, during a quick meeting at around six in the morning. Neji had turned absolutely ashen when he had heard that his cousin had been raped and was pregnant. Tsunade had gone off to talk with a lawyer to figure out what exactly to do.

Sasuke turned to Neji. "Neji, I think it's best if you tell her father. As soon as possible."

"Shouldn't she—"

"I broached the subject with her and she said she wasn't comfortable telling him. She's still coming to terms with it. There's an issue of men and fathers we're going to have to talk about. She's afraid of disappointing him. Can you tell him? Will you tell him?"

Neji nodded. "Can I talk to her?"

Sasuke shook his head. "Not yet. Her little sister—Hanabi—knows."

Neji started to walk away. "Hang on. What's she going to do?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is she going to get an abortion?"

-

"_Hinata, what do you want to do about the baby?"_

"_Hm?"_

"_Do you want to get an abortion?" _

"_No! I could n-never…"_

"_Do you want to put it up for adoption?"_

_She looked down at the ground. "The baby is not an 'it.' The baby's a boy."_

"_You can't know that."_

"_He feels like a boy."_

_Sasuke smiled faintly when Hinata looked up at him. "Does that mean you're keeping him?"_

"_I don't know. Should I?"_

_Sasuke sighed and thought for a moment. "Just because the baby is the product of rape doesn't mean that the baby is guilty."_

-

"She's going to keep the baby."

Neji looked surprised. "When?"

"She's about twelve weeks along. Sakura got the accurate reading." Sasuke placed a comforting hand on Neji's shoulder. "She's strong."

"I know she is. I just didn't want…her to have to deal with this. She's only eighteen."

"That's older than most. And, I think, that it's for the best."

"But you don't know."

-

"Sasuke, I-I don't think I can do this."

"Hinata, it's just a door. You have to walk through it."

"I don't think I can face them. They know."

"Yes, they know. I think you can face them."

"But…I'm scared…"

"Of what? These people are your friends. Well, most of them, anyways."

"Just…don't leave me, okay?" She sounded close to tears again.

Sasuke squeezed her hand. "I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

**AN:** Yeah, I know it was happy. I just wasn't in the mood for real angst (gasp!). And she gave up the whole story much too easily, I know, I know. I've got a ton to do and am really busy, so I just sort of slapped this out. Sorry! It gets the plot said.


	7. Make Up Your Mind Reprise

_**Torture of Silence**_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything.

**AN: **Here's your chapter! Not much to say other than that "Next to Normal" is AWESOME!

* * *

**Make Up Your Mind/ Catch Me I'm Falling Reprise** from Next to Normal

_Stay with me_

_Try again_

_Don't walk out on treatment_

_Don't lose what you've won_

_You've struggled for years _

_But you've only begun_

_Stay with me_

_Try again

* * *

_

Tsunade tossed the file onto the desk with one hand and pulled off her jacket with her other hand. She was really getting sick of surprises. First, she gets slammed with a new protocol. Then, she's told that Itachi is coming for a psych evaluation. No, she did not have a choice in that. After that, Sasuke has to go basically off the deep end. Now, she's told that the new girl is pregnant and it's because of rape, which means now there's going to be a whole investigation.

Kakashi entered the room, holding a cup of coffee. "Here. I've got some aspirin too."

"Thank you. Kakashi, what would I do without you?"

"Be a lot more disorganized." Tsunade laughed.

She tossed back a few pills carefully measured out by Kakashi. He didn't want any more overdoses. "So, what brings you here?"

"Nothing really. I just thought, well, I'd come and check on you. You looked upset."

-

Hinata had sat silently in group, next to Sasuke. Though everyone was burning with questions, no one asked anything. Sasuke looked too protective, which was different. Everyone was dancing around the issue that sat like an elephant in the room.

They lined up to go to art. Kakashi hung back near Sasuke.

"Sasuke…are you all right?"

"You're asking me? I'm fine. It's Hinata who—"

Kakashi swung Sasuke around to face him. "You take things seriously, especially concerning people who you care about. Don't try to say you don't care about her; you care about all your patients and that's why you get so angry and upset."

Sasuke didn't correct Kakashi. He didn't want to admit it to himself.

"Look, Sasuke, you couldn't have prevented this. You're going to help her through it, like you always do. You always manage to help people."

"I don't need a pep talk, Kakashi. Shouldn't you be taking the patients to art right now?"

With a dismissive nod, Kakashi said, "Temari can make sure they get there."

"That's not why you're here."

"Sasuke, you've got to talk about this with someone. Not necessarily me, but maybe someone else. I know some—"

"A psychiatrist seeing a psychiatrist? Sounds like a riddle."

"Plenty of normal people see a physiologist or psychiatrist."

"I'm—"

"You're not normal and that gives you all the more reason to see one."

"I have work."

"At least think about it."

Sasuke shrugged and slipped out of the room. When he was halfway down the hall, he whispered, "Maybe."

Back in the room, Kakashi sighed. "You can't do it alone."

-

Kakashi really had no right to be telling him what to do, Sasuke thought. Yes, Kakashi had been his mentor for years, but that didn't mean anything. Sasuke was a loner. He didn't need anyone. He could handle this all on his own and he'd end up on top, because that's what he always did.

Except, Sasuke couldn't help but think that maybe there wouldn't be a winner this time. He'd be the loser no matter what.

Hinata. Hinata. What to do about her? There was something special about that girl. He didn't like how well he could picture her face, or remember how she felt as he held her. She was the patient. He was the doctor. Those were their roles. There was no other way the play could be done. He wouldn't think about how much he wished there was another way.

It wouldn't do for the doctor to love the patient.

-

Temari sighed. "Great. Kakashi just abandoned us."

Snickering, Tenten asked, "Doesn't he remember our abandonment issues?"

"He remembers them as much as you admit that you like Neji," Lee said, smiling brightly.

"I do not like Neji!" Tenten replied angrily.

"Me thinks she doth protest too much," Gaara said, surprising everyone by saying something that fit in with the conversation.

"Let's go to art. Stay in line," Temari called out, sounding very much like a tired grade school teacher.

Tenten turned to Hinata. "Hinata, what's going on?"

Hinata swallowed and shrugged. She couldn't find her voice. All her confidence had been drained away and was left in a puddle back in Sasuke's office.

"Tenten, you can talk to Hinata in art. For right now, let's just get down to the room before the doctors flip," Temari ordered, sounding very much like a teacher.

They were almost at the room when a man in handcuffs was led down the same hall in the opposite direction accompanied by two strong looking nurses. The man's deep navy blue, almost black, eyes traced over the line of patients, then latched onto the face of one.

He pulled away from the nurses and walked purposefully to Hinata. He leaned down to whisper in her ear.

"You're not safe here. You'll never be safe again."

He raised his cuffed hands and stroked her cheek gently. Hinata's eyes widened and she stiffened. The nurses yanked Itachi away, apologizing. Temari acted the adult and said it was all right. Hinata's breath was stuck in her throat. How could she ever escape from him?

She sat down in her chair heavily. She could never be free from this. No amount of talking, no amount of drugs, no amount of acceptance would ever make it okay, make it disappear. She could never forget what he had done to her. She was keeping the baby, a baby that was the product of him and her. She could never escape from him. She could never escape from the memories.

What could she do? What wouldn't she do to completely move on and forget this whole mess? What would she do?

Unbidden, unwanted, memories of the first time flooded her mind.

She had been cleaning the dishes. Her father and the man had been talking and drinking. Her father passed out, it looked like. He'd drink too much some nights, just to forget about his wife who had died much too soon. Neji tried to take care of him, but it was hard.

Embarrassed, Hinata went into the room and apologized, explaining.

"I'll show you out. I hope you will not hold it against my father. He doesn't mean to…"

"It's fine. You are quite pretty."

Hinata had blushed. "T-Thank you."

She had felt very awkward and then he leaned over and kissed her. It started off sweet enough and innocent. Slowly, he started to move faster. A lot faster. He pulled her out of the study and into the downstairs guest room where he was going to be staying the night. He tossed her onto the bed and locked the door.

"P-please let me out," Hinata said, her voice wavering.

"I don't think so." He was skillfully pulling off his shirt. "And don't even think about screaming. I'll kill your father and your sister."

"Y-You wouldn't."

He had unbuckled his belt and grabbed her face. "Would I? Now, be quiet and take it."

Tenten nudged Hinata. "Hina, are you okay? You're crying."

Hinata hesitated, trying to decide what to say or what not to say.

-

It was evening group. It was half over when Sasuke turned to Hinata.

"Hinata, I think it's time you share with group."

"No." Her voice was a whisper.

There were remarks of surprise. Neji looked up from where he was taking notes. Kakashi in the doorway closed his book.

"Why?" Sasuke asked, trying to control the group still.

Hinata stood up. "I am eighteen."

"Yes. I don't see where you are going with this."

"I'm leaving treatment."

* * *

**AN: **YES! I can still write cliffies! Sorry, it's a little short. But...I think it works. Until next chapter, my dears!


	8. Boys Don't Cry

_**The Torture of Silence**_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto or "Boys Don't Cry" by Plumb.

**AN:** Dedicated, once again, to my lovely editor, who's getting sick of me taking forever to update.

* * *

**Boys Don't Cry** by Plumb

_So, what would you say to me,_

_If you could talk to me?_

_You could ask anything._

_I wouldn't lie._

_But you're okay with this,_

_Damaging awkwardness._

_So, I'll play it safe, keep it inside.

* * *

_

The suitcase was open in the bed. It had been completely empty only briefly. Hinata had almost repacked all of her things. She picked up a shirt, started refolding it before she would put it into the worn suitcase.

Someone kicked the doorframe lightly. Hinata turned around, clutching the shirt tightly, eyes wide. But, it was only Tenten standing there. She wasn't looking at Hinata, her face turned so she was looking at the floor in the hall. Her arms were crossed, she leaning against the doorframe.

"You know, you shouldn't leave."

Hinata shrugged and turned back to her suitcase.

"Just because…of all that, you shouldn't run away. You can deal with that here. We can all help you."

Hinata was still silent, pressing the shirt down on top of the clothes, tracing the creases.

"Are you going to say anything?"

Her voice wasn't angry or reactive, just disappointed. And that's why Hinata decided to answer. Maybe if she answered once, Tenten would pass it on and everyone else would leave her alone and she wouldn't have to go through this conversation again and again until she finally left.

Hinata's voice was quiet, almost lost in the silence of the room. "I can't stay."

"Why's that?" Tenten asked immediately, her voice gathering anger and annoyance. "It's a stupid place and all, but you can stay and you can get help. You'll do better here than you will alone because you already tried that, remember?"

"You don't understand."

"I don't understand? Hinata, there's nothing special about what you're doing. It's not complicated or something that needs to be understood. You're running away from your problems, plain and simple. And you're going to keep running until you completely lose it. You think no one can possibly comprehend what the hell you're going—"

Hinata slammed the suitcase top down. "Are you finished?"

"Not in the least," Tenten replied. She looked sad. "Hinata, why won't you let Sasuke help you?"

"I have to handle this on my own."

-

"She wants to leave treatment?" Tsunade asked, staring blankly at Sasuke and Kakashi. The phone she was holding was dangerously close to falling out of her hand. Shizune grabbed the phone, trying to hide her own confusion.

"Yes, she wants to leave treatment. She's packing right now," Kakashi answered.

"But, she just…opened up and everything. That means she wants to stay…but she's leaving?"

"Yes, we said that," Sasuke said curtly. He was a caustic presence in the room, looking very close to beating up everyone and thing in a five mile radius.

"Sasuke…" Kakashi muttered.

"Well, isn't she underage? Can't we keep her here until a guardian gives it a go?" Shizune suggested as she straightened up the fallen papers.

"She's eighteen," Kakashi and Tsunade replied.

"But, her father signed her in, didn't he?"

Sasuke answered. "She signed the papers. It was at his insistence. Legally, she can leave."

"Unless we get a court order stating that—"

"It'll take a least a week to get a court order, provided she shows up at the hearing. She can get pretty far in a week," Kakashi pointed out. "Even with my connections, it would take at least two days to get one. And we wouldn't be able to keep her here."

"She's leaving," Sasuke said dully.

Tsunade tossed back her hair and squared her shoulders. "Then, we're just going to have to get her to stay for two days. Kakashi, call your contacts. Shizune, go break the copier and burn all the discharge forms. We need them in triplicate, remember. Sasuke, go talk to her."

They left the room, Shizune going straight to the copier and opening the side panel. Kakashi and Sasuke walked out of the office.

"Sasuke?"

"Hn?"

"What are you going to say to her?"

"Hn."

"You better mean it, whatever you say. Don't screw it up."

-

_Hinata stood still, immune to the clamor that had started after she had spoken._

_Sasuke tried to regain control of the group and stop the new outbreak of craziness. "Hinata, you are far from ready to do that. You're not leaving."_

"_You can't stop me," she said, acting oddly belligerent. "I am leaving."_

"_Hinata, you can't leave!" Neji said, forgetting about being a silent observer. "You're here for treatment. Think about—"_

"_You are not leaving," Sasuke cut across, quick and forceful._

"_Yes, I am."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because I can't stay here."_

"_And why's that?"_

_The tension in the room was palpable. Everyone was holding their breath. _

"_None of your business."_

"_As long as you are here, it is my business."_

"_Gomen nasai. I'll leave immediately."_

_She started to leave. Sasuke stood up and crossed the room in a few long strides. He blocked the door. She looked up at him from beneath her dark bangs. Her eyes were soft, her mouth quivering slightly. She was close to a breakdown, but she was trying to hold herself together. She was trying to keep herself together long enough to get away where she could breakdown in private. He'd miss his chance, probably forever. He had to push her now and hopefully push her enough so she'd breakdown. _

_But, he really, really didn't want to make her breakdown. He didn't want to see her cry again. He had to do this regardless._

"_Hinata, you cannot leave. If you leave, nothing will change. You'll feel all the same emotions on top of all the stress of living on your own and having a baby that is the product of rape. Are you ready to deal with all of that?"_

_A few tears slid down her porcelain cheeks. _

"_G-Gomen nasai."_

_She slipped around him and walked down the hall, not making a sound._

-

"What happened last time apparently didn't stop her. You have to come up with some very good reasons why she should stay. And they had better be true. I don't think she'll stay for anything other than the truth," Kakashi continued.

"Kakashi, how did you tell Rin?"

"…" Kakashi glanced away. "That has nothing to do with this. It's not the same situation."

"You could have told her the truth."

Kakashi stopped. Sasuke stopped a few steps behind him. Kakashi's voice was cold and hurt. "You can be a real bastard sometimes."

Kakashi went down the hallway on the left. Sasuke took a deep breath before going to the right. It had been a low blow, but a necessary one. Sasuke didn't like hurting people all the time, but it made it a lot easier sometimes. Other times, it just messed up everything.

-

"Hello?" Hanabi picked up the phone.

"Hanabi-sama, it's me."

"Neji-kun, what's going on?"

"Is your father there?"

"No, Otou-san is at work. How is onee-chan? When can she come home?"

"H-Hanabi. There're some things I need to tell you about Hinata. Your father knows all this…"

Hanabi was quiet as Neji explained it all to her. Afterwards, she asked, "Is Hina-chan okay?"

Neji hesitated. He wanted to tell her everything, but…she was too young. "She's fine."

"You're going to bring her home soon, right?" Hanabi sounded close to tears, but was putting on a brave front. "You'll bring her home and then she'll have the baby and we'll raise it together, right? We'll all be happy? You promise?"

Neji covered his face with his hand. "O-Of course, Hana-kun. I've got to go, but I'll try and stop by tonight or tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay. Do you promise?"

"I promise."

He hung up and leaned against the wall. He slid down until he was sitting on the ground. He heard someone come in, but he didn't look up. He was trying too hard not to cry. Someone sat down next to him and slipped an arm around his shoulders.

"Hey."

"Tenten, you're not supposed to be in here," Neji said without looking up.

"So? I heard most of the phone call."

"Did I sound reassuring?" he asked, trying to smile, but it came out like a grimace.

Tenten blinked back tears. "Yes. It's hard…to reassure your family…"

"I…I hate lying to her."

"You told her about Hinata and the baby, that's got to count for a lot. So you didn't tell her that Hinata's leaving treatment. That's not precisely lying, just…comforting her. She needs someone to comfort her. You need someone to comfort you."

Neji started crying, burying his face into Tenten's shoulder, holding her tightly. She stroked his hair, whispering to him.

Eventually the tears stopped, but he didn't pull away. Nor did she.

-

Temari had just left the room. She hadn't been much more successful in convincing Hinata.

Hinata sighed and picked up her suitcase. She walked to the door and came face to face with Sasuke.

"I-I need to leave."

Sasuke took a step forward. "I need to talk to you."


	9. Through Glass

_**Torture of Silence**_

**Disclaimer**: Only own the plot.

**AN**: About that speedy updating thing...Sorry! I'll try and be better...

* * *

**"Through Glass"** Stone Sour

_I'm looking at you through the glass,_

_Don't know how much time has passed._

_And all I know is that it feels like forever._

_But no one ever tells you that forever,_

_Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head._

* * *

"How does leaving help you?" Sasuke was sitting on Tenten's bed, watching Hinata closely.

Hinata played with the bedspread. "It...It gets me away from this. I don't want...I don't want..."

"Want to what?"

"D-Deal with this."

She covered his face with her hands, shoulders shaking with sobs. Sasuke felt a twinge in his heart. He got up and sat next to her, placing an arm around her. He leaned his face against her hair, breathing in her unique scent of flowers...lilacs? Lavender? One of those purple flowers. This was stepping a little over patient-doctor boundaries, but she didn't object. In fact, she seemed to take comfort in it, moving closer to him.

"You can't run far enough away, Hinata. You think you're there, you think it's all gone and that you've forgotten it, but then you'll find out that nothing has changed. You can't get away from the memories by denying them or trying to escape them. You know that in about six months, you will have a baby. You can't wish it away."

"How...how do you know?"

"Know what?"

Hinata looked up at him with those big eyes and Sasuke knew he wouldn't be able to say no to whatever question she asked. "How do you know you can't leave something behind?"

Sasuke took a steading breath and then began.

"I told you that my parents were murdered by my brother. The police didn't catch him immediately. He escaped. That was my fault. I was in shock. I couldn't believe that he'd done that, that...that our parents were dead by his hand.

"When I walked into the kitchen and saw him standing there, I didn't do anything. I couldn't react. My brain just kept saying, they're dead, they're dead, they can't be. I was completely useless. Itachi walked over to me and knelt down. He whispered, 'I love you, Sasu-kun,' and then kissed my temple. He straightened up and walked away.

"I froze. If I had reacted or moved faster, things could have been better. But, I didn't. He started a fire as he left the house. I would have died in that fire if it wasn't for Kakashi. He had suspected something seemed off and showed up five minutes before the fire fighters. I was very lucky. He went to the kitchen first and found me there. He pushed me to the door and he picked up the bodies. I would have tumbled right into the fire if not for him. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to the lawn.

"I was out of it for a week. Completely non responsive. Shock. Kakashi stayed at my side. He read me books. I remember him reading Shakespeare most vividly. Hamlet. Then, the police came with their questions. After they had gotten everything they needed, they told me that they hadn't found Itachi. He had...disappeared.

"I knew that their searching would not be enough. They didn't know Itachi like I do. Did. Kakashi suspected my plan, but I didn't give him a chance to stop me. He had to be interviewed by the police. I snuck out of the hospital and started tracking Itachi.

"I...found him. I never expected to find him. I was blindly following his trail. I thought he was too smart to be that obvious. He was staying with a gang called the Akatsuki. They were expecting me. I ended up alone with Itachi.

"It was talking with him that I realized that he was insane. Who he had used to be had completely disconnected...I can reason out the mental problems now. I couldn't then. It doesn't change what happened. It happened.

"I asked him why he did it. I asked him how could he kill our parents without any warning. He didn't answer me right away. There was silence for a bit. When he started talking, he didn't answer what I asked. He started spewing all this nonsense about the woods we used to play in, then about principles. I knew something was wrong with him. I realized I would never get a straight answer out of him. I said I was leaving. It was then that he connected to the present.

"He said, 'You know, you'll never get rid of me. I've already crept into your mind. You see, you and I are the same. We both have dark hearts. Mother and Father didn't understand that, didn't appreciate it. That's why they had to be killed. You'll see things like me soon enough.'

"He snapped his fingers and the other Akatsuki members came in. His eyes were completely devoid of all feeling as he watched me get beat up. He'd completely dissociated from the real world. I didn't fight. They knocked me unconscious and then dumped me somewhere. I never found out where. Kakashi had found me and took me to his home. Kakashi didn't trust hospitals, so Tsunade did a favor for him and treated me. He had already gone to police and sealed all the records. I owe him everything.

"I had no direction in my life for a month after that. Part of me wanted to go find my brother and kill him. Part of me wanted to die. Kakashi convinced me to go back to school. Once I started going, I realized that I just wanted to put the whole thing behind me. My parents had always had high expectations for me. I finished school early with Kakashi's tutoring and mentoring. I...I haven't been able to tell him how much he...

"I excelled at everything I did. I was trying to lose myself, forget about the past. I became a psychiatrist because I wanted to try and understand how the brain works. I thought if I could understand, I could...save Itachi. I thought I could fix him. Kakashi was supportive. He thought it would help me. Get me to deal with things. He eventually realized that I had stopped emotionally dealing with everything when I was twelve, when my parents died. He tried to discuss things with me, still tries to, but I cut him off.

"He's like...a father to me. My biological father was cold. Kakashi is real and always there. He lives on the same floor as me. He helped me get an interview with Tsunade, smoothed it over so I could get this job. He stays no matter what. I've...told him to leave me alone before, to go away, live his life. He's a constant reminder of my past. It finds ways to pop back up. Your past is always there, because it is you. It's an inescapable part of who you are. I've tried to get away from it so many times, but nothing you do is enough. To deny the past is to deny yourself. You have to destroy who you are, kill yourself and see if someone new can be born from the remains.

"This wing is named 'Chidori' because I always think of lightning with that word. Lightning is definite, precise, exact. It's fast, striking once and forever changing things. Lightning can change sand into glass. People should come here once and get treated, and things will change. They'll get well. That's what I'm trying to do."

Sasuke lapsed into silence. He didn't even know what to think now. He had bared his soul to her. He could only hope that it was enough to keep her here. She wasn't just a patient. He couldn't lie to himself anymore. She was something more than just a patient, he wasn't sure what, but something.

"It is what you are doing, Sasuke. You're helping people."

"You say that, but I don't know if I can believe it." Sasuke didn't look at her.

Hinata turned his face so he was looking at her. "You are. I...I wouldn't be this brave if it wasn't for you."

He tenderly brushed her hair out of her face. "I don't want you to leave treatment."

"I know."

She then did something that completely surprised Sasuke. She leaned in and gently kissed him. He pulled her closer, closing his eyes. She wrapped her arms around him, not fighting, not scared.

That kiss felt necessary, needed, right. Insanely right.

She stood up, pulling away. He looked up at her, his hand tangled with her long hair. "Hinata..."

"Goodbye Sasuke."

She took her suitcase in hand and left the room.

* * *

**AN:** Don't worry, there's going to be another chapter and an epilogue. Also, when I originally wrote this story, I'd only read up to the 200th something chapter and nothing was certain about Itachi at that point. I stopped reading the series a while ago because it got rather complicated and I didn't have the time, but some friends have kept me informed of what's been going on. So...I changed my plot line and made Itachi a little less homicidal and more insane.

Enough rambling. Thanks for reading!


	10. Suicide Note

_**The Torture of Silence**_

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters or the lyrics.

**AN: **Well...I finally wrote another chapter! Don't hurt me...much. :D Enjoy! This chapter is for everyone who's stuck with this story!

* * *

**Suicide Note** by Johnette Napolitano

_I did not understand_

_The sound of you falling_

_I did not understand_

_As the trembling heart of a man_

_Did not understand_

_The sound of a trembling heart_

* * *

Hinata walked out the front doors at dusk. So many people had tried to stop her, but she didn't listen to any of it. Not after what Sasuke had said to her. What they had done. That kiss had been completely unexpected. She hadn't felt alive in months and that one gentle kiss had changed everything. She wasn't sure about leaving anymore.

She put a hand on her stomach, where her pregnancy wasn't yet visible, but she knew. She would have a baby in about seven months. That wasn't that far off, not when she had no where to go, no way to earn money, no help whatsoever. Her father wouldn't help her unless she went to treatment. She didn't...she did...

She looked back at the hospital. She looked at the wing that was Chidori. Could she really leave? The hardest part would be taking the first step. She just had to take it. She looked left, she looked right, took a deep breath. She took that first step.

:-:-:-:

Sasuke walked back to his office, hands in his pockets, head downcast. He'd gone to group therapy after his conversation with Hinata. Everyone had been dancing around the issue and it drove Sasuke a little insane. He'd had to get up in the middle of the meeting to go stick his head outside in the snow to cool down. No one had protested or even commented.

He leaned against the closed door, covering his face with his hands. He jumped when someone cleared their throat.

"She just left," Kakashi said. He was leaning against Sasuke's desk. "Thought you'd like to know."

Sasuke pulled himself together, trying to look a little angry and indifferent. He walked around his desk, going to the cabinet were he kept his shot glass and his alcohol. "Hn."

"No drinking on the job."

"You're not my father," Sasuke shot at Kakashi.

"I tried, Sasuke. I tried."

Sasuke squeezed his eyes shut, leaning over his desk, trying to fall apart as he listened to Kakashi's slow footsteps out of his office. He hated failing someone. He'd failed three people today: Hinata, Kakashi, and himself.

Hours passed and Sasuke sat in his office working on meaningless paperwork to distract himself. He didn't want to think.

Sakura knocked on the door at around nine and entered without waiting for permission.

"Sasu-kun, are you okay?"

"I'm just fucking great. Get out of here. I'm working." Sasuke didn't look up from his papers.

Sakura tentatively took a few steps forward, balancing on her high heels. She walked around the desk. "Please...don't shut me out. I'm here for you, Sasuke." She took his hand and pressed it to her face. "Please look at me."

Sasuke reluctantly looked at her. "I'm looking."

Sakura smiles a little. "I want to be the only person you need, Sasuke. I've always been here for you. I'm here for you now."

Sasuke pulled his hand back. "We will never be together."

"Why not? I've stayed here! I've done everything! Why won't you give us a chance? Please, Sasuke, I'll do whatever you want!" Sakura was desperate, trying anything and everything. "I love-"

"You don't know. Please," Sasuke said calmly, looking at her seriously. "You're in love with who you think I am. Stop this before it goes too far."

Sakura leaned in to kiss Sasuke but he caught her. "Stop, Sakura. I could never give you what you want, what you deserve."

She whimpered and left the room. Right outside the doors, she broke into tears. Five years had built up to that moment and he had dropped her cold. She knew he wouldn't be rethinking it. He never gave things a second thought. He made his decisions with a recklessness usually reserved for children or someone so convinced that they were right. Half the time he knew he was wrong, but that wouldn't stop him. He was certain, convinced of his truth. He was truly dedicated. He was safe.

It was no wonder Sakura had fallen for him. She had simply never thought of the fall awaiting her. She'd never thought that he'd tell her no.

:-:-:-:

Itachi looked out the window, measuring the time. It was dark enough. It was late enough. He silently snuck out of his room, past the guards who were already asleep. The whole 'locked' door thing didn't apply to him.

Itachi just had to see Sasuke again. One last time and then it would be done. Or rather, Itachi wouldn't be leaving until it was done.

He smirked, easily evading the night nurse as he walked towards Sasuke's office. He fingered the blade he'd smuggled in. Yes, tonight would be the deciding factor. After tonight, there would be one Uchiha brother left to carry on the family name.

Itachi knew he'd gone crazy somewhere along the way. It wasn't that big of a problem. He had no remorse now. He felt no guilt. He felt nothing at all, which would make all of this so much easier

:-:-:-:

"Don't bother me," Sasuke said when someone knocked on the door at around midnight. "I'm busy."

He assumed it was Tsunade, lecturing him again about how he'd failed to keep control of his patients. Maybe it was Kakashi, back to actually fight him. It could just be Sakura, tearfully begging for another chance.

His black and red eyes darted up when the door was opened. There stood Hinata, a fine dusting of snow on her jacket and hair. She shyly looked up at him, then back down at the ground.

"H-Hello, Sasuke."

"Hinata? You're back...?" Sasuke was partway out of his seat, dying to go over to her, but his feet still frozen to the ground.

"I thought I-I could l-leave, but..." Hinata trailed off. She put her bag on the ground. "I d-don't think I am ready. Yet."

"Are you..." Sasuke was torn. What did he ask first? He should be the proper psychiatrist first. "Why do you think you weren't ready to leave?"

"Because I...need h-help. I need y-you." She blushed when saying that. She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering slightly.

Sasuke forced himself to move, holding out his arms. "Give me your coat. You look cold."

She did as she was told and took her usual seat right across from Sasuke's desk. Sasuke hung up her jacket and didn't return back behind his desk. He wrapped his jacket around her shoulders, then leaned against the front of his desk. Hinata was still not looking him in the eye.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Hinata seemed to mull that over, then shook her head. "I realized I was w-wrong when I got outside. I couldn't l-leave. Not yet."

"Why?"

"I n-need help. Like I said before." Hinata tugged on the hem of her shirt.

"Help with what?"

She finally met his eyes. "With everything."

A breakthrough. A huge, monumental breakthrough. This was her admitting that she had a problem. This meant he could help her and work through it. He could help fix her. And then she would be gone forever.

There was a knock on the doorframe and both patient and doctor looked up the intruder. There was a tall man standing there, a silver knife in his hand. Sasuke instantly recognized his brother. By Hinata's gasp, Sasuke got the confirmation that this was also the man who'd raped her. He pushed her behind him, towards the desk.

"Itachi, what are you doing here?"

"I missed you, little brother," Itachi replied with a sick grin.

"You're supposed to be locked up." Sasuke surreptitiously searched for a weapon of some sort. Of course there was nothing handy.

"I don't like to be behind bars. I don't like cages. But you know this, don't you, Sasuke? You're just like me, little brother."

Sasuke shook his head. "I'm nothing like you, big brother. Put down the knife. I can help you."

Itachi laughed hysterically. "It's too late, little brother. You're too late."

Sasuke's heart skipped a few beats. "You don't know what you're talking about. Just put down the knife. Things haven't gone too far. I can still help you."

Itachi thankfully put down the knife. "I wish it was that simple. It's not anymore. I'm in too deep."

"You're not. Itachi, stop talking like this." Sasuke felt tense, ready for a fight. He could hear Hinata's breath in the near silence.

"I'm doing this for both of us, Sasuke." Itachi attempted a smile, a sad, tortured smile. He pulled out a gun, one that his guards had to carry.

"You don't have to do this!"

Itachi shook his head, lifting the gun slowly. "I'm sorry, little brother."

There was a gun shot and Hinata screamed.


	11. Happily Ever After

_**The Torture of Silence**_

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Naruto or the lyrics.

**AN: **Enjoy the last chapter!

* * *

**Happily Ever After** by He is We

_Oh, happily ever after, wouldn't you know, wouldn't you know_

_Oh, skip to the ending, who'd like to know, I'd like to know_

_Author of the moment, can you tell me, do I end up, do I end up happy?_

* * *

_One year later._

Hinata put the now empty bottle by the sink and pushed back her messy hair. She managed a small smile for the cooing baby, fascinated with his mother's long hair. He reached out to tug on it again, but Hinata moved back and tied her hair up in a tight bun. She scooped the baby out of the carrier, put a cloth on her shoulder, and burped him. She kissed the top of his head, gazing into his beautiful navy blue eyes.

"Now, we're going to go the cemetery and see Daddy. How does that sound, Solitae?"

She got herself and Solitae cleaned up and ready. She carried him out of the little apartment out to the car. She strapped him into the car seat carefully and gave him a binky. She got into the front seat and turned to wave at him. He giggled. She smiled and turned the car on, Rachmaninov started playing, and she drove.

After about twenty minutes, Hinata took an exit. "We're going to make a little detour. How does that sound? It'll be fun."

Quite soon, she pulled up to Konoha. She zipped up her jacket and then wrapped Solitae up securely in a blanket, picking him up. She carried him into Konoha. After checking in with the nurse at the front desk, Hinata made her way to Chidori.

She'd barely set foot on the wing when someone came running towards her.

"Hinata!" Temari hugged Hinata and the baby. "You're here! We've missed you so much! And who is this?"

Hinata returns Temari's smile tremulously. "This is Solitae. H-He's six months."

"Aw, isn't he a sweet little thing? Absolutely the cutest thing...and look at his eyes, they're so big and cute!" Temari kissed the top of Solitae's head. "I just want to steal him and keep him!"

"I-I heard you were released. Why are you still-" Hinata began to ask.

"Well, Gaara's getting better, but you know that. He might be released in a couple of months if he keeps making such great improvements. I was visiting him..."

"Where's Shikamaru?" Hinata asked innocently.

"I'm right here. Troublesome woman, stop running off." Shikamaru slouched up to the pair of them, hands in his pockets. "Hello Hinata."

"Hello Shikamaru-san." Hinata noticed Shikamaru surreptitiously taking Temari's hand. "How are you?"

"We're good," Shikamaru answered. "This troublesome woman finally decided to move in with me."

"Lazy-don't say-that!" Temari blushed.

"It's sweet," Hinata said happily.

"Well, if you say so..." Temari nudged Shikamaru. "I'm going to take Hinata and the baby down to see the rest of the gang, so you can either follow me or you can go be a lazy ass and sit in the car."

"I'll come."

The three of them walked down the hall, Temari and Shikamaru bickering as they entered the recreation room. Gaara was sitting there with Ino, who'd finally started to put on weight. She was still a while away from being 'normal,' but she was starting to look healthier and happier.

She jumped up with a squeal. "Is that the baby? Aw, Hina-chan, he's so cute!"

Gaara got up a little slower and followed Ino over to Hinata. "Hello Hinata."

"Hi Gaara-kun, Ino-chan. This is Solitae."

"He's even cuter than the pictures!" Ino was cooing over the baby. "You have to leave him here!"

Temari cried, "I get him first!"

Hinata cut across Ino before she could start. "Who else is here? I do not have much time. I will come and visit for longer later..."

Ino thought for a second. "Choji's on a day pass today...Shino's in a session right now. Naruto's napping. He's on ECT currently...it takes a lot out of him, but he's starting to do better. Lee's checked out. You know Tenten's been out for a month. Sakura's somewhere...Kakashi's with Tsunade. He's always with her now."

Hinata laughed softly. "W-We probably should go, so tell everyone else I said hello, please."

After a bunch of goodbyes and lots of hugs, Hinata managed to extricate herself. She was walking down the hall when she nearly ran into Neji.

"Nii-san, hello," Hinata tok a step back, trying to regain her balance.

"Oh, Hinata. And Solitae, how is he?" Neji rubbed Solitae's cheek gently, earning a smile from his nephew.

"Very awake. Will you be coming over for dinner? You never responded..."

"That's tonight? Yes, Tenten did text me about it..." Neji pulled out his phone and checked it. "Yes, we will be joining you, Uncle, and Hanabi tonight. I'm sorry, I've been very busy."

"I know. Tenten told me about all the unpacking. You two are almost settled in, right?"

Neji nodded wearily. "I should have taken off more time after the wedding and gotten all this sorted out. But, Tenten said she could handle it. I know she can, but I wish I could be there..."

"Ask for more time off?" Hinata suggested.

He leaned down and kissed the top of Solitae's head. "Maybe. It has just has been so chaotic since last year...You should go to his office. There are some things that he wanted you to take."

Hinata nodded slowly. "I will stop by. I don't have much time, but I can manage. I'll see you tonight, Nii-san."

"Bye, Hinata."

Hinata and Solitae went to the office. She let herself inside very quietly. "Now, this will only take a minute, Solitae, and we can go."

"Oh really?" Sasuke spun his chair around. "You were going to come visit and not say hello to me?"

Hinata jumped and then looked sheepishly at the ground. "I...I-I just meant..."

He'd gotten up and walked closer while she hadn't been looking. He tilted her face up, a smile playing on his features as he traced over her bottom lip with his thumb. "I may forgive you."

Hinata leaned up, but then Solitae started fussing. She pulled back and tried to comfort him. Sasuke took Solitae from her, saying, "Allow me."

He'd calmed down Solitae in a minute. He looked Hinata over. "Hard day?"

"He likes my hair," she answered.

"So do I." Sasuke kissed her forehead.

"You were going to be late anywayas. We were supposed to be at the cemetery...ten minutes ago."

"I did call you," Sasuke said with a smile. "I didn't know you were planning to stop by."

"Nor did I. It was nice to see everyone."

Solitae yawned. Sasuke chuckled and slipped an arm around Hinata's waist. "We have dinner tonight with your father."

"Neji, Tenten, and Hanabi will be there too. It's a family dinner," Hinata said, leaning against Sasuke.

"A real family dinner? Who would have thought after the last one..."

"There really was no need for you to throw that dish."

"I tripped!"

Hinata giggled. "As you told us, but it did not help your case that the bulk of the sauce ended up on my father."

"He's just looking for another excuse not to like me. He doesn't like that we're living together and I haven't married you yet. We're raising a child as if we were married," Sasuke grumbled. "You'd think it was enough."

"He is very traditionalistic." Hinata shrugged. "I promised to make his favorite dish tonight."

"I'll cook. You look tired." Sasuke kissed the top of her head. "You should let me take Solitae during the day. Then you can go class and not keep rushing back between classes to check on Tenten and him."

"You have patients."

Sasuke turned her around to give her a serious look. "As I've told you before, I can work it out. We can work this out together. A baby doesn't mean the end of your dreams. You'll just need to rely on me, your family, your friends."

Hinata nodded. "I know and you have been so kind. He's not even your son..."

"Blood doesn't matter. I want to be his father. A family is more than genes and blood. It's about love, Hinata, and I love you and Solitae."

She leaned up and kissed him. "That is how you should propose."

"I'll remember that the next time I try." He laughed softly, hugging her and Solitae gently. "Will I get the same answer next time?"

"No. We had only been dating for a month then, Sasuke. It has been about eight months now," Hinata smiled.

"Will you tell me it's still too soon again?"

Hinata looked at him seriously, mulling it over. "I might just say yes."

Sasuke ran a hand down the side of her face, before leaning in to kiss her again. It hadn't been easy. But, in life, what was? It had taken time, but right now, he felt like he could wait forever as long as she stayed by his side.

He'd never thought he'd find someone who understood him and loved him despite it all. She loved him because of everything. And he loved her because of who she was, where she had been, what had happened to her, and how she had changed.

Words were how he diagnosed, how he learned about a patient. He couldn't find the words to describe how he felt about her, but that was right. Not everything could be explained. Sometimes you found happiness, sometimes you didn't. Sometimes, happiness found you.

* * *

**AN:** And so ends ToS! Thank you all for reading, reviewing, commenting, and connecting with this story! Special thanks go out to those who stuck with story even when I stopped updating for a really long time.

All in all, thanks!


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